About : ) Hi from the other side

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What comes to your mind when you hear the word journals…

Xavier had a hard time dealing with his breakup, he wrote an entry. He wouldn’t forget the way she walked away, letters describing all the words he couldn’t say and all in lined papers.
Spongebob really did great today, the Bikini Bottom is all rainbows. He writes an entry, he wouldn’t forget this day.
Joanna just had her first kiss, sure, she writes an entry. Words describing the heart beat only her could feel, bellyache or red butterflies…

Ashley is crying at 02 AM. Edwin missed his flight. Margaret gave birth to a girl and Josh fell off his bike. Rukki is praying, Chizaram is going to start a business, Olivia is starting a new book, Ife wants to travel and me, I’m just hanging around waiting for the next wave.

Catching and Releasing, unwinding, recording our existence, dancing to our rythme. What’s existence without memories…

First times and last times… heart beats and cold hands. Epiphany and dilemma. Adrenaline and Dopamine. More than ten Thousand neurons cutting across a single brain causing flashes of actions as the legs tries to find its place in the societal ladder.

The Purple Journal tells you all the things you already know, things you already learnt and felt yet this journal solves a problem.
As humans forgetting is innate and just like all the rainy nights when these persons go back to their journal hidden in the wooden shelves and remember what was once unforgettable, the purple journal is also your tiny reminder of the words you didn’t say….

A reminder of everything you called weird and irrelevant.

The purple journal is here to remind you of some feelings, thoughts and experiences you might have just forgotten….

So turn these pages with me, will you?

Freedom Desired

Over and over again, the scenes will play in my mind.

My much anticipated freedom to dive right into my surreal… My wished reality.

With every folk tune, my soul expresses its depths.

Whatever they called normal and reality was a mediocre to my heart. The heart that longed for much colours, expressive pictures and sights. The one they called weird…

Free dress
Free hair
Free feet
Free ground
When everything feels light.
Free from time
Free from the imposed values
and grinds of life.
Free from watching:
if someone is around.
Free to step on:
every judgemental tears.
To stand plain in the
nakedness of my soul.

Free to live on the ground
I want and fill my eyes
with the only food it desires
and crave to appreciate.

Free to love, and step
foot by foot in the open.
To raise the flags of my soul
to it's depths. Free to be me.
Yet not refraining from the morals
my spirit holds.
There are many shades of freedom.
I'd rather not judge yours,
if your soul is free.



Hello everyone! Thanks for joining The Purple Journal after that pretty long break.
Here’s the reason why I’ve not been writing:


I repeat, I’ve been in bed.

Believe me she wasn’t prepared for this. Early on a new October morning, she gently rose up with the pace of dawn. A plain white sheet laid on her wooden table with plans ready to come to life.
She had invested the early hours into appreciatong the new greens outside her house, and fruitfully approaching the month.
She had carried some air from the previous month; the air of hope. A lovely way to start a new phase if you ask me but the rest of the days lacked the resemblance of dawn. It sure was quiet but it was too quiet. Adrenaline was always appreciated…

I surprisingly found myself in a situation where I was always in bed.
Thinking about it now, it obviously was and still is an escape.


From this experience, I would say facing the unknown requires these properties:

  1. Self control
  2. Discipline
  3. Resilience
  4. Courage
  5. Faith, trust, hope.
    Love hovers over them all.

Facing an unknown beginning can trigger new habits in us. These habits can be geared toward striving to achieve, following a certain schedule or escaping failed actions.

Sleeping has become one of those habits that helped me escape the after effects of failed actions.

Sleeping too much?

I really had no idea what the problem was but I always felt the need to escape the bad feeling by sleeping. But here’s a little tip:

Bad feelings arise as an alert that we are not really doing the right things or we are generally making wrong decisions.
If we feel too optimistic and try to wave off the bad feeling, the problem remains.
If we find ways to escape the feelings when they come, we will definitely get away from it but not for long.
Maybe the best thing we can do is be courageous (with the knowledge that courage is not the absence of resistance and fear), face the feeling, analyse it, hear what it’s trying to say to us and get on with doing the right things (which turns out to be the core problem)


Truly we all know the right things to do, how? We already know the wrong things we are doing.
The problem with doing the right thing is how uncomfortable it gets; the uncontrollable resistance and we are humans anyways.
This is why I can support the list above that discipline and self-control are very great and productive attitudes to cultivate and grow when approaching our very life (which is always an unknown).

In the main time, it will feel excruciatingly difficult (if not impossible), but when it’s over you will be more peaceful looking back at the suffering, rather than looking back at all the things you didn’t do.


When I failed to do the things I was suppose to do, I found my legs moving to the bedroom. In a sunny, hot afternoon, I would cover myself up with my very thick blanket and hope to get away from it all by sleeping. I would put myself to sleep by convincing my gullible self with these words:
“I’ll do it when I wake up, maybe I’ll feel fresh, new and ready to restart the day.”
I was always looking for ways to restart the day, even though it’s 7pm. Sleeping was the best way to help myself realise this stupid intention.

So how do you actually get out of bed and do what you’re suppose to do?
Here’s a quick answer:
Grumble and hate it all while you actually make a decision and attempt to move your body off the bed. Move yourself, feet by feet (still grumbling) and place yourself on the area where you have your work. When you’re done, thank God later.

There is no how. Thing is, we all know how to; We just lack discipline because we hold on to our entitlement to comfort.

We are always choosing (I’ll talk about this in the next topic of this series).

We will feel way better after our suffering than we will feel after our comfort.

You see, the thing with comfort (laying in bed, scrolling through channels, surfing instagram, munching on junk) is this: it’s just an escape. It doesn’t actually make the problem go away. It just makes you get addicted and dependent on it. It makes you run away from the problem when indeed happiness comes from solving problems.

Get out of bed… Face the feeling.

It’s funny how the best things we desire actually come from doing the very things we want to ignore. It’s ironic how true comfort actually comes from being uncomfortable.
The make up of man is one of the most counter-intuitive system I’ve ever observed.

The best way to get away from uncomfortable feelings is doing the uncomfortable… It is simply doing the right thing, which we all know is hard to do (at first).

I am not saying it’s (that) easy, I’m just saying it’s worth choosing…

Here’s how I got to write this post after a long time of avoidance: I got out of bed and reluctantly sat on my work table. Period.

Series Alert: Drifting Off October

Do you ever feel like you are drifting away from your expectations and plans?

Welcome to the new October series! The Purple Journal invites you into this new experience of failing to move on when things don’t go the way you plan.

Have you ever had a good time or season, only to move into the next season and find things going anti-clockwise.

Maybe last month was one of the best times of your life, moving into the new month you had great expectations but all you found was the opposite of your best times.

Maybe you got lost. Maybe you felt confused.
Maybe you thought you had it all figured out, but life happened. Maybe you’re now addicted to your comfort. Maybe…

Welcome. Now let’s take a walk together…

You can also check our previous series, “In her September thoughts” by browsing through the category icon.

Journals and New Leaves

Long September, new October.

Grow gently and truly
By Destiny Felinah

When the sun came up today, I looked up at the sky and asked, “God where are you taking me now? ” The best part of this question was that I had a smile on my face as I asked the question. It was a special kind of question because I didn’t know the answer but I knew it would be amazing and beautiful… And I was aware it wasn’t going to be easy. I was aware that soon I was going to break down again but it’ll lead me to a whole new ground that stimulates goose bump and happy tears.

September is not going to come around again. This september is gone forever and I am relaxed at the thought that I have no regrets. None.

I don’t regret the shift of goals. I don’t regret the moments I spent doing nothing.
On the last day of August I had drafted a mini plan; a plan highlighting the biggest things I wanted to do (I had planned starting a podcast). The month of September went in a way I never imagined and also in a way I imagined. I discovered much more than I thought I would, I found new parts of myself and I was still able to do some of the things I planned doing (finishing the book of John, first Timothy and Second Timothy).

It was a moment when I gave myself a chance. When I stayed in solitude sometimes just to embrace myself. Where I had deep thoughts and hard truths.

I may not have started a podcast but I did go through a healing process; like a series of mindset bath. I feel like all the right things happened (even the bad days). This only makes me hold on tighter to my new, favourite mantra :
“Trust the future to be beautiful. It may not go as you imagined but it will still be beautiful. You might walk a different path you never thought you’ll walk but you’ll still meet a beautiful end… “

We have gotten to the end of the September Challenge (In her September thoughts). This is not a goodbye but it’s the end of September.

On the bright side, it’s a new beginning with new chances and experiences. It’s fresh with new lessons and pain lying ahead.
In summary, life is worth it.


  • experienced more of peace and hope.
  • Been able to experience healing in my thoughts and emotions. I have started my journey away from self-pressure.
  • Been able to create contents for this new blog.
  • Do things even when I don’t feel like it.
  • Spend my time with God and His word. And I found fun ways to be with Him. I have been really open to God with my doubts and confusions about Him and I watched Him provide some answers (and when I had no answers, I watched trust and faith take over).
  • I have read books religiously.
  • I have heard from new amazing people and sent direct messages.
  • Discovered more of who I want to be and where I want to be.
  • Been watching my true attitude and behaviours and I’m trying to be honest to myself about the ugly sides (very discomforting).
Call me sunshine. I love colours

This is not the end of The Purple Journal, It’s a new beginning… Again, I’m proud of the photos.

With Love, Light, Grace…

From The Purple Journal.



Update: This post was initially created on the 28th of September, but failed to publish due to site issues.

To be really honest, I don’t feel like writing anything today but I’m still going to try.
Last night, I saw a post by Joyce Meyer and it said, “Working out have great benefits but it’s still hard… What hard thing are you doing?”

In this millennial, it’s obvious how emotions are overrated. We tend to live our lives according to our feelings. We do things just because we feel like it. We have evolved into a generation that live to merely satisfy feelings. If something feels hard, we avoid it and move on to what feels better.

This has turned out to be a major contribution to the growing feeling of entitlement. We now feel like we have the qualification and right to anything good we desire (according to how we feel about it).

Somehow, this has seriously doubled the rate of depression. Because of the inundation of extraordinary stories and motivation, everyone now feels entitled to significance. When this attention and societal worth is not forth coming, we tend to feel denied of what we claim to have deserved. We get filled with so much sadness, anger and bitterness towards living. Some might keep trying so hard, some might give up and fall back to continuous movie nights, late night alcohol and more junk food.

This same attitude of entitlement has destroyed the true value of life itself. We set out on missions aimed at getting back everything the world owes us. We do things just to prove our worth to the world. This can get motivational and inspire success but this can also get really bad; because entitlement leaves us unsatisfied and obsessively desperate.

We forget that we came into this world with nothing and will definitely leave with nothing. We even grow in this attitude and feel entitled to life. We wake up in the morning and feel no air of gratitude for a new day. Why? Because we feel we qualify to still be alive. We feel we are not done getting back what life took from us, so we just can’t die or loose an arm or a kidney. The list goes on and on and yes I am also guilty of this attitude (That’s why I say ‘we’).

In some way or the other we all are…

If you’re not feeling entitled to life, you’ll be feeling entitled to love and attention. If not that, you might feel entitled to beauty or wealth or fame or skills or health.

Here is a personal experience:
I always believed we had to do something special so we can prove we are smart and great enough. It was a message preached everywhere. No doubts, I grew up living up to that message and searching for more of that toxic message. Everyone had something they were great at; that one thing that’ll make them stand out. You see, I’ll later grow up searching for this gifts or talent I possessed. I will search and search and nothing will seem enough for me because I possessed no exceptional skill. I will go on to be really depressed about my life and form a habit of crying to myself, drowning in self- pity and self-hate.

It’s only now that I’ve grown to realise that kind of attitude and quest itself was a form of entitlement and playing victim. It’s really hard to admit it, but maybe all I was looking for was attention ( I swear I’m cringing now, don’t mock me… I never expected this post to go this way).

We grow up feeling entitled to an extraordinary ability. We skip the knowledge that we have no idea who we really are, and that only time and experience can lead us into learning who we truly are.

I knew I could always learn a skill since I had non. But no, “entitlement”— I didn’t feel like learning. I felt that learning a skill will only make it annoying and because I felt so, I let my head and emotions grow larger with entitlement. I kept on forcing answers out of myself (even when they weren’t just there—yet).

Imagine the amount of self torture. This might sound crazy and ordinary to you, but this made me cry night and day—the realisation (lie) that I wasn’t just good enough…

We don’t have any supposed qualification and right to good, great things. This bitter truth is what will save most of us; I mean, I learnt it the hard way.

Just because something feels good and great doesn’t mean you must have it. Just because you desire it doesn’t mean it’ll be yours. And look, not having things your way doesn’t have to mean you’re miserable. Because you don’t have it doesn’t mean you’re doomed. You don’t always have to play victim of lost rights.

We have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I really do feel like a hypocrite now because I am also dealing with this… But I’m happy I’ve grown to understand where the problem started. I am happy I am free from pressuring myself.

“Too much pleasure is pain…”

Free yourself… Release all those great expectations. Get uncomfortable. If you desperately feel like chasing these entitled wants… You’ll have to get ready to work for them. If you decide to suffer for them, then you must have paid a reasonable price for this need. That’s the birth of possibility.

Instead of drowning in self agony and entitlement to self aggrandizing expectations, start looking for what you’re ready to suffer for. And while you’re suffering, know that you’ll die leaving this earth with nothing. Don’t let society choose your suffering for you, because society won’t be there to carry the cross for you.

A good medicine to letting go of an entitled attitude is simply gratitude. I am not saying that’s the only solution, I am only saying what has worked for me. There are more solutions: hard work, patience, humility e.t.c.

“If you have to say good bye (to the standards), know you’ll be fine after saying goodbye. You won’t be perfect but you’ll be fine” – Morgan Harper Nichols.

Keeping a gratitude journal helped me recognize the trend of entitlement in my life. How? I noticed that the answer I had to why I felt desperate for most things was simply because it will make me feel good and better about myself. That means, I felt entitled to feeling good. How wrong can this get?

Practicing gratitude has helped me realise that we don’t actually have the right to blessings… It’s either a divine gift or you worked for it in some way. We can’t escape hard work and we cannot live our lives always feeling good.

In the moments when what we desire doesn’t come our way, we can be more present and get grateful for all the things we already have or once had. Things like: water, sunshine, health, our ability to live, the way the night and day are being controlled, sight, safety…

Above all, you still have the so precious life running in your graceful body that holds you in hope.


A conscious cure to stress, fear and worry.

Gratitude, knowing that what’s present is what’s present.

In Dr. Norman Pearle’s book (How to be your best) chapter four explains how Bill Stidger fought depression with gratitude, and how that bold step of his was able to give an old grandma something to appreciate about the past fifty years of her life… The chain didn’t end there, more persons smiled from one man’s act of gratitude.

Live grateful today… Create value and acknowledgement for the life you now have.

Living courageous is the ability to live even in the midst of fear and insecurities…

It’s finding your own shades of colour.

P. S I am so proud of this photo. And that’s my stuffed octopus, Ashley .

From The Purple Journal

With love, light, grace…

20 Seventh



27 September 2019

“What a wonderful world…. “

We live in a new age world where being restless and anxious is a full blown disease. We sit in the midst of people yet wander to places far from the present. It is now normal to be in the present yet know nothing about what’s happening in the present, because our minds are always seeking for what’s next — not what’s before us.
Now whenever we get a chance to be happy, all we can do is imagine what it would be like when the party is over and the sun goes down. What it’ll be like when life comes back at us.

Why do you want to ruin the present by imagining and meditating on what could go wrong — in the future!


Yeah, I keep mentioning this. I can’t hide how overwhelmed and grateful I feel for this. The bible says, “my peace I leave with you…” I have personally experienced this peace. When conflicting ideas and thoughts come to my mind, it feels like my mind is not willing to hold on to it for so long. It just longs to be settled and simply, peaceful.


Again. The world will always have opposing forces. It’s not a surprise that in the midst of so much peace and calm, wild thoughts attacks us. It’s not a surprise that when we refuse these thoughts, a new war starts to build up in our minds; FEAR.

We accuse ourselves for being too relaxed. Our mind starts accusing us as being extremely indifferent or too carefree. Our minds can even accuse us for being too scared to face our problems. Such truthful lies!
We’ve lived on this earth long enough to believe a lie that being peaceful is abnormal. The trend is to be worried and overly concerned about all the things we can’t handle at the moment.

In the middle of the calm and peace, there might exist a building fear of loosing this peace. Peace feels so good and miraculous that we might actually start becoming worried of loosing this peace. We forget that this fear itself is a perfect way to start giving out our peace.

Why think about what will happen when you loose your peace of mind… And maybe returned to being the clumsy, anxious, sick kitten? Why do that when you can just — settle.

Lately I’ve been waving off this uncomfortable thought of loosing this peace and hope that I am so excited about, the one I am so surprised and grateful for.
We become scared that the moment we loose our peace, we become fraudsters. It begins to feel like we tricked the world and made them believe in a peace that was just perhaps a mood swing. We get scared of admitting that the growth we so claimed to have was just for a little while. We get scared it will stand against the new practice and lifestyle we’ve come to preach about, enjoy and share with the world around us…


Humans have grown so accustomed to waving off the present while holding on to the future in their heads. We can’t deny the fact that the present will always be the present and the future will always be the future. In as much as we are making preparations for a FUTURE downfall, we can also be grateful and happy in the moments we are standing on.

Well, what can I say. Instead of thinking about all these, we could choose to just enjoy this moment while it lasts; this peace. We could always write this feeling down and keep the memory. And when it seems like it’s gone, we could always come back to that entry and know that there was a time we were this peaceful. This can be a great source of hope. If we do this, we might just be filled with the faith that it can happen again.

The faith is not about not getting into bad times and moments; for they must come. The faith believes in fighting… And it says, “fight the good fight of faith.” The faith doesn’t mean we won’t get troubled, it simply tells us to fight with faith when the struggles and worries come. It tells us not to settle for it. It tells us to believe and win over oppositions, even when it seems too hard. It teaches patience in war.

“Change is inevitable.”

Just look at you. Few months ago you were so anxious you’ll never get to this point. Look at you showing off so much power and strength you’ve built up as you passed through your tiny holes… Look at you now in the lights. Even though you might not have so much light around you, now you see the light. Now you have a stronger chance of seeing your way to the bigger lights.

In essence, once you thought it will never be possible but you’re now living in your thought out future impossibility. You have grown more knowledgeable. Stronger. More patient. More open. More vulnerable and better.
Even though your peace and hope will get taken away from you again, always remember that it’s an opportunity to go through another growth process. When you came out of your last struggle, you came out better.

Hope and faith can hold you in this moment of fear. Through hope and faith you can be rooted in a believe that; it will only build your peace. Maybe this time when your peace comes back to you; when you win back your peace, it will be much greater. You will get stronger and firmer.

This is the idle growth mindset and faith.

We must be able to accept who change is and know that change is definitely coming for us. It’s coming on an attempt to take us through the highs and lows so at the end we can become great, strong and skilled surfers of life.
It was through the rough storms and pain that you learnt the value of peace. It was through these moments you discovered the beauty of peace. Would you settle for this place you have now, when you know you can have much more? It was through the journey of anxiety and worry that you found this peace you once never knew to exist.

Even though your beautiful, loved peace goes away, maybe you’ll only journey into a deeper form of peace. A more secured kind, planted in the memories of your journey.
You can choose to enjoy your peace while it lasts and fight for it or you can choose to see the brighter side of the change about to come. You can choose to anticipate just how beautiful, refined and genuine your peace will become when you meet it again.

Growth comes in so many areas of life and time. Just because you’ve grown in one area or phase, doesn’t mean you’re done growing. We never stop growing through life.

Grow with The Purple Journal today.

“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous!”
John 14:27 TPT

NEWS FLASH: For those who didn’t join us from the beginning, this note is to remind you that the purple journal is approaching the end of this series. This series is one that brings to the light, the September thoughts of The Purple Journal as this journal goes through a growth journey.
We strongly encourage people that feel like they just can’t figure out what’s going on in their young lives to give this series a chance. It’s called “In her September thoughts.”
You can also visit past post since the beginning of the month. It will help you move with trail of thoughts and understand better.

How has your month been and what are you planning to grab as the new month arrives?

From The Purple Journal
With love, light and grace…


20 Sixth


26 September 2019

SIDE NOTE : This post has no specific heading.

Honestly, I’ll like to start by repeating the fact that I am overwhelmed and amazed by the hope in my heart. It’s amazing how I imagine my future and get filled with the thoughts that “At the end, I’ll die knowing I lived it all right. At the end, I’ll still feel alive.”


Hello! Welcome to The Purple Journal. The Purple Journal is an amateur weblog that presently have no specific niche and doesn’t plan to. It is an online journal fueled by a free young…


Amateur is such a beautiful, strong word with different windows; we could look at it from different perspectives. I spent a significant period of my life, fighting with words the society gave a negative shade. I would go numb at the thought of words like: enough, mediocre, mediocrity, oblivion, amateur, genius, loser, fail…

Amateur looked better after the three dots in a sentence. Amateur was the reason they became mature. Amateur marked a start… Yet it was so hard to accept and identify with.

The Purple Journal is Amateur today, but not for long.
New soul, new mindset, sunshine, me… The weird kid have decided to accept this word whole Hearted. I am grateful for the gift of hope; the ability to be in the gutter yet see the sunlight.
The Purple Journal will turn out to unfold into so many beautiful shades. Out of the wrestling wind, meaning would be found. Time makes it all fun and mysterious.

I sat on the bench and imagined how it felt like. The divine looking at us, watching us grow just like the plants and other creatures. There is no huge difference between all living things when it comes to growing. Just as the seed breaks and dies only to come out of the dark soil taller and firmer… The divine will watch we humans break. Watch the dirty soil rub off on us and only wish we could see that soon we will come off as strong and fresh. How it must feel as the divine sees us giving up when the end is painted with his glory. I also can’t miss the imagination of how pleased He must feel when we finally step into the purpose He created us for… When we finally lay hold of everything that we once desired and called “The life.”

This blog would have started before now, but I was in a deep search to provide what society will identify as meaningful. The urgency to place my creativity in a certain category. Life never placed us in one category. Life placed us on a treadmill and lifted us from one treadmill to another while our eyes were still spinning. Every victory led us into another war. Now I sit baffled at the low expectations of the world. The crippling conception of living…
The words giving to people who tend to be different from the trend; weird, freak, crazy, dumb, dreamy, possessed, unusual… Meanwhile everyone had different finger prints. The creator was limitless when it came to variety.


Niche? Nahhh, I’ll skip that part. I don’t even know what wonder I am capable of… Yet!

Free yourself… You’re too alive to cage your mind. The creator is not out of designs.

Life is priceless and overwhelming. There are so many shades of a colour that still remain nameless even though there is an obvious difference.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll write novels. Maybe Poems that seek to dissect emotions. Maybe I’ll be an artist. Photographer and more… Maybe I’ll be all of these, at different phases of my life.

All I can gnaw at now is the opportunities and miracles to come. The dreams that are heading towards reality. I sit and smile at the moments to come. I imagine the beauty of vulnerability.
Maybe soon I’ll be sitting with a Hispanic old man in Japan taking about what only the future knows; today this is just a dream.
Maybe I’ll get a response when I go stalking Jace Norman or maybe I’ll be able to go on a trip with Ashley and Taylor. Maybe one day I’ll have a meal at Radhi’s kitchen…. I’ll travel everywhere.

Maybe soon I’ll be part of that love, light and grace filled community I long to identify with. In the open field, dancing and singing with strangers… Radiant landscapes for shoots.

Every phase seems to lead me into a better understanding of my true wants and dreams. The ones that were there before the impression the world offered me.
The most beautiful part of this, is that all these visions are simple and light. Some are so far but it’s funny how close they are to our hearts; like we could delve our hands right into them and grab them.

Free soul bursting into living colours. Change is inevitable…

“I was just thinking. Thinking of this whole thing and desire. I have always desired to be free. My greatest desire was just to be free to be who my heart loves…”

It was a conscious desire that led to my hands gradually bringing into my life, all the qualities I admired.

In all, The Purple Journal is just trying to express the way her arms are opening to embrace the unknown. The Purple Journal is trying to make a landmark of a new dawn. She is trying to show you how peaceful not knowing might be. She is highlighting the existence of happiness in the midst of our inadequacies and lacks.
All which is made possible when we stay grateful and open. When we finally decide not to let society determine our progress or meaning…

#Growing Amateur.

with love, light and grace


.Faith .Lifestyle documentary .Young writer

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