In her September Thoughts

20 Fourth

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MORNINGS FIRST

24 September 2019

During the final weeks to my previous semester exams, I got a book recommendation from Jeff Rose (A financial education YouTuber) and the name of that book is Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.
The whole time I read that book, I experienced really clear physical changes. I established a consistent morning routine that didn’t clash with my class schedules.
I would go to sleep at 08 PM but if I had things to do, I made sure I was in bed before 09 PM (there were days when I went to bed at 10 PM). I would wake up at 02 AM and deal with school work till 05 AM (I had moments when I’ll close my school work and check YouTube or read a self-help book before I began studying). At 05 Am I would go out for a run. I use to detest exercising, I felt Iike it wasn’t necessary to stress myself so much (lazy mind).

As I kept on reading Miracle Morning, I continued running. As days went by, I found myself loving my life the more when I went out for a run (it was such a personal moment). I would appreciate the coolness of the morning, the gentle breeze, the tranquility that was so relaxing. I would walk by the places in my school that was usually rowdy, and knowing I was the first person to be there (alone!) that morning made me feel ridiculously good. During the day I had lots of energy to get down with aggressive classes and long walks to learning halls.

Fast forward, I am on vacation. I don’t wake up at 02 AM anymore but I do wake up at 05 AM (During the first weeks of my vacation, I would wake up at 10AM in the morning! That made me feel awful after a while).

I am ranting about my morning routine today because it’s the same reason I didn’t have any initial plan on what to write here. And it’s probably the same reason why you might feel overwhelmed during the day.
It’s not just waking up early that matters. What you do during the first hours of the morning does have an effect on the rest of your day. I feel like I need to go back and re-read the miracle morning… And I am recommending that book today.

MILLENNIAL MORNING


The ideal millennial morning starts by waking up when someone makes an obnoxious noise. It starts with a face that says, “I would have squeezed the life out of your voice if you weren’t my relative!” Some people do throw tantrums and pillows. The ideal millennial morning is guilty of grabbing on to the universe first thing in the morning. In an ideal millennial morning, the first things we do will include: checking up on other people’s exciting life, checking up on how many people realised how great we are or checking out what other people have to say about us. The average millennial morning starts with the mobile phone.

GUILTY

Maybe you have honestly made attempts to stay away from the internet first thing in the morning. Most days it works but some days you feel so desperate for acknowledgement. For me, my mobile phone is the first thing I grab on to because I have to turn off my alarm clock; I don’t necessarily go online first thing in the morning, yet I know I’m still doing it wrong.
I usually do my house chores before running into social media but I am still doing it wrong…

THEN WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???

Then what are we doing wrong? I’ll tell you; it’s the fact that we are not meditating and reflecting on our own lives in relation to others.

I do my chores before I bounce on media updates, still I don’t feel satisfied with this restriction. I have to clean the house, I have to prepare a blog post, I have to take a bus back home today and it’s a two hours drive, I have to…. You probably also have so much you have to do.

My blog post is based on thoughts and that’s where I lost it. I struggle to come up with an idea and it’s simply because I did every other thing in the morning aside thinking, reflecting and probably reading a book.
We are suppose to have moments in the morning where we sit quietly and think of our lives, think of our thought patterns, think of our relationships, think of our goals, our personalities and much more. We are suppose to look back and reflect and do what everyone finds weird, that is, talk out loud to ourselves (Don’t worry it’s early and no one is watching).

This activity can be enhanced by processing the information we already had from the previous day and taking regulated and intentional information in for the present day. It can be enhanced by the use of journals: To-do journals for highlighting our goals for the day. Expression journals for expressing our present emotions and thoughts. Gratitude journals for coming up with reasons to be relaxed and joyful (also hopeful).

When I said “regulated and intentional information”, what I meant was reading or listening to things that encourages us or prepares us for our task. It could be reading a small portion of a book, listening to already downloaded podcasts, audio books e.t.c. But these should be after sitting down in silence and embracing the new day we have before us.

If I had done this in the morning, I would have had a well thought out blog topic today. I would have discovered a feeling or idea that other people might probably be struggling with.
Yes, I wasn’t scrolling through instagram. I was actually watching YouTube videos that will help me with my bible study; it’s obvious I was doing the right thing at the wrong time.

I’ll probably be working on this and you also should. Let us take moments in the morning to acknowledge our thoughts.
I am writing this with my travel bag by my side, ready to lock the house up and hit the road. If I had planned my day intentionally and with more discipline, I probably wouldn’t be rushing things up now.

P. S Take a moment and acknowledge your thoughts. Filter them! I say with so much fulfilment that I shot the picture used for the post featured image. And like the fog in that picture, it’s your duty to clear up the fog in your mind before sunrise…

Recommendation: Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.

If you struggle with your mornings, do leave a comment in the comment section below. Let us help ourselves…

From The Purple Journal with love and light.
XoXo

In her September Thoughts

20 Third

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4TH WEEK OF SEPTEMBER
THROUGH OUT THE THIRD WEEK I HAVE:

  1. Been far from the blog and the duty to write here.
  2. Finished reading the book of John.
  3. Been reflecting on the personality of God and need for spirituality (long journey)
  4. Been journaling as we all know. I’ve been having a real schedule for journaling, thanks to the prompts supplied by Lavendaire.
  5. Been practicing conscious gratitude using my gratitude journal.
  6. Been open to notice so much options, lifestyles, ideas and this was not so great in a way but was also great in a way.

“What can I say; change is inevitable…” – The purple journal

PLAIN MIND

23 September 2019
“If you’ve found the things you love, sit back and enjoy the process” – Marie Kondo

To be honest, I feel like the month ran so fast. It feels new writing here again, maybe I would have just continued with the posting while doing the journaling special. But the break also felt right.
I felt a lot of resistance before writing here today. I felt like I had lost the flow.
After now I’ll go back to my journal and observe my previous preparations before I start drafting a blog post.

I mentioned that last week I was engaged in a journaling special. It’s not like it took a lot of my time but I just desired the break. I am still trying to process the results from last week. The fact that they are quite intangible makes it hard to feel and see. This aspect of progress is mostly held by faith, that is why self doubt is a killer. No doubts I still struggle with self doubt but these days I don’t say negative words to myself… I notice the shield I now hold against self doubt and it’s not perfection, it’s not skills or knowledge or awareness, it’s not even growth but it’s hope.

I am amazed by the presence of hope in my life… It’s a feeling I can’t miss. Even in the midst of insecurities, imperfections, ignorance and self doubt I feel it building a wall around my self image and composure. It’s something that I don’t control, I don’t do consciously so it amazes me anytime the feeling arises.

Knowing there is a lot to learn is an overwhelming knowledge itself, but hope and faith works together to keep the mind stable and receptive.
Few months ago, at this time when it feels like I lack direction and my ideas are too disorganized I would have freaked out and gotten angry at myself. This anger transfers so much, that even the slightest shifts off my expectations will cause an up roar in my soul and body. You’ll see me ready to spill out so much negativity but this was bad;The thing is, emotions can be transferred. I look back now and imagine the sort of impact I must have had on my friends. I wonder what kind of energy I was sending off. To admit, it was a rather selfish way to live and express discontent.

Now I sit on this bench an wonder why that reaction is not coming off.
I sit calmly, my composure is okay but deep inside of me I know I have no idea what I am doing. It’s not like I am not worried things aren’t going so great, I am aware, concerned and uncomfortable about it but there is a great absence of stress.

Hope is the reason I haven’t started hitting water bottles and banging the wall. Hope is the reason why my face is not like mashed potatoes now.Hope is the reason I am not playing angry bird right now. Hope is the reason my day is not yet ruined with negativity. Hope is the reason I am typing this, because if I didn’t have hope, I would have settled with the idea that I just don’t have what to upload on the blog today.

I still wonder how this hopeful attitude was born but I love it. I want it to stay and be part of who I am.

GETTING HOPEFUL

I believe having a mindset and knowledge that struggling is inevitable really sets you in the place of hope. It’s a long walk off the victim mentality.

You could only hope (as you work) you’ll grow from the struggle. You could just hope it’ll get better. You could just hope you’ll figure it out along the way.

Hope can be grown by the realisation that discomfort shows the present is not okay and can be changed. If the dream belongs to you it’ll keep coming. . . There are things we truly can’t control, so it’ll still rain when it’s time to rain. Autumn and fall will come around when it’s time so the divine does have a say. There is something called fate whether we believe it or not. And I personally believe all things work for my good because that’s what my Bible tells me. it fills me with so much hope and faith even when the present doesn’t say so. It’s a shower of relieve somewhere inside my beautiful, growing soul.

There are lots of religions and spirituality because it’s a free world. One thing that draws me to the bible is it’s ability to speak of the real human struggles. It’s abiblty to encourage and say out my heart’s troubles. The bible says “In all, there is a time(Season, phase) for everything… Time to sow and time to reap”. Time to be buried into the unknown, time to die off, time to grow new and fresh, time to blossom and time to get the fruits. This just captures the human desire to outrun time but patience is highlighted as a growth factor. So if you really want to grow, learn patience. Pray for it for the sake of your mental and emotional well being. Pray for it so you don’t gain extra pounds bouncing on junk because life is too hard. Pray for it so you don’t frighten the kids and make your friends struggle to be around you.

I said “Plain Mind” because to be honest and plain, I had no idea what I was going to write today. I couldn’t think of anything and I had gone out of the habit of writing daily. I wandered around the house just thinking about how I’ll start. The only option I had was to start by greeting, to start mediocre, to start with a review, to start with what I think nobody wants to hear, to start with the not so great content. Somehow I found myself sending the message of hope. Even though this content is so simple and personal and straight forward, I am honestly proud of it. I am happy I decided to just sit down and go on with the nonsense.

The process you see is something we feel but can’t see the end. In the process everything sum up the the perfection you become. Every junk and blabbing does count; they all sum up to the result.

“In the begin change was intangible and invisible…” – The PurpleJournal.

I leave you with this message and I am happy I took the photo. See you on the better side of tomorrow. That snail up there is my snail, Gary.

In her September Thoughts

16ixteenTh

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3RD WEEK OF SEPTEMBER
THROUGH OUT THE SECOND WEEK I HAVE

  1. Been reading nice books.
  2. Done a lot of introspection and meditation.
  3. Watched YouTube videos of my favourite youtubers.
  4. Been reading through the book of John.
  5. Annotating my Bible during my Bible Study.
  6. Been the house cleaner since I am the only one still on vacation.
  7. Been sleeping well and gotten into a nice routine.
  8. Been taking and editing photos; used some for the featured image in my post. It was a fast week, I don’t feel like I did much (apart from shopping for work space supplies) and at some point it got real rough both emotionally and intellectually.
  9. P. S I’m so happy to tell you I took and edited the featured image for this post and it’s a picture of my Sticky notes from my last shopping.

SIDE NOTE:
The purple Journal apologizes for not uploading a post on Saturday, it was a very spontaneous day planned by my Aunt. I don’t usually post on Sundays and Sunday was also a rough day for me.
But the new week is here, it’s Monday and we are all anticipating a growth filled week.
The Purple Journal now invites you to join this week’s special, “Journaling Week!!! “


CLEAN UP AND WRITE

16 September 2019
Welcome to the third week of September. I have done my brainstorming for my goals this week. This evening I will be organizing them and I hope you’re doing the same.
I won’t say the first week was better than the second week. But the second week sure was spontaneous.
The best part of last week was that I got to move to my Aunt’s place for that week. Since the kids were going to school, I was left at home. I got into the habit of cleaning up the house before I start any study or plan for the day. It’s a bit stunning that I adopted the habit real fast.
Before I would just clean my work space and get on with the day but I have experienced the fulfilment that comes from actually cleaning up the whole house.

I know some persons might be too busy to actually clean up the whole house, or the house might be too big. You can actually just arrange the items around so your surrounding so it looks organized.
Here are a few emotions that can stream from just being in an environment tided up by you:

PRODUCTIVITY AND CONTROL:
I believe an organised environment does carry the aura of control and productivity. It puts you in a certain mood that makes you want to do more around that environment. Also, you might feel like you have your work under control, especially when you were able to clean up your mess and other people’s mess yourself.

FULFILMENT
We can all agree that there were days when after a nice clean up we felt like we had conquered the day.
If cleaning up was actually part of your to-do list, doing that task will make you feel one step into the day and one step out of the to-do list.

CONFIDENCE:
Yes, a nicely arranged surrounding makes me feel confident and modern. There is this aura of confidence I carry whenever I walk around the house knowing that it’s clean and ARRANGED.

FRESHNESS
Arranging your work space and surrounding can also make an old area look fresher. It makes the beauty stand out. In all, cleaning up and arranging is just a dose of energy and positivity.

Here is a fast tip from Marie Kondo, the author of life-changing magic of tidying up:
Keep things around you that you actually want to be around you. This is a minimalist’s guide but this also applies to all areas of life.
Marie Kondo talks about only keeping or bringing in the physical things that sparks joy in you. this is an intentional act and does make sense if you think about it.

JOURNALS AND PEOPLE
Like I mentioned earlier, this week is a journaling special, that means I will be spending my time on journaling. Since “Journaling” is not an actual word, we journal users describes journaling as the act and art of writing in a journal. It can be like a diary entry or by using a journal prompt. The best part of journaling is that it is intentional.

Using and writing in Journals have proven to be a good form of therapy for me and I am inviting you to try it out… If you already do, please check out my prompt source mentioned below .
I already scheduled October as a month of using Journal prompts. I made a decision to start my journaling exercise last week. Aileen, one of my favorite YouTuber is starting an online journaling course. She is the creator of the Lanvendaire Lifestyle contents that I once shared here on this blog.
Because this course is free, I decided to seize the opportunity and start my Journaling exercise now, instead of waiting till October.

Aileen’s Journaling series will be live on IG TV every Saturday at 09 PT for the next six weeks and she will also be sending emails with the journaling prompts you can try out.

You can sign up for the emails with the link below;
Lanvendaire.com/lavinotebooks

I already signed up and you can join me (as I join Aileen)

Xoxo
From The Purple Journal.

P. S Please leave a comment if you found this post useful, we are trying to build an online community.

This is not a sponsored post. Just a mere recommendation.

In her September Thoughts

13irteenTh September

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DO-MORE SYNDROME

13 September 2019

Do you feel restless and guilty when you’re not up to something? Have society stolen the joy of just being from you? Do you feel like you will never amount to anything because you’re simply not doing anything noteworthy now? Are you hurt?
Are you faced with what I resolved this morning to calling the Do-more syndrome?

It’s every where, in every story, every motivational line and dose. But is it worth the stress?

Here’s the thing, Philip has turned out to look like the ultimate goal getter. He has lines of journals with entries and ideas and he is moving towards it. He has eaten the Do-more message long enough to ignore every opposition. He sounds more like…
“This might be the only way and I’m taking it down.”
Thing is, he never gets satisfied. And though he has been up and doing always, he still doesn’t have any solid grip on any of his supposed achievement. There is nothing grand to right home about so he flushed every second of movement down in the toilet. There is no fulfilment, no acknowledgement, therefore he’s got to do more, think faster and smarter…. He’s got to slap the answers right our of his brains whether he does have the answers or not.
The legend we are all trying to be… The do-more strategist.
“If it’s not working, just don’t give up… Do more! “
Who else eats this message daily. The reason sitting down and doing nothing has become a sign of worthless and uselessness.
Phillip took the hard road, got knocked by a bus but he’s till moving. He’s got to do more. He had a cut right through his stomach last night but he’s got to aggrandize himself. He’s got something to prove. He’s got to prove he’s got success in his DNA. He feels entitled to recognition just like the other stars.
He rolled off the ladder while trying but he’s not letting go. He’s got cuts and wounds with massive release of blood but he’s still moving. Dripping red all over his path. The cuts are so deep you wouldn’t see it; I think it pierced right through his soul and left scars on his self image but he’s got to be strong… Go getter! Do-more syndrome man.

He will later end up on a far away medical bed. The one not seen around… Soon he’ll have doctors fighting to keep his wounded soul in his ripped body. I don’t know if he’ll give up and let the ghost go. I don’t know if he’ll keep fighting. I could relate to his mantra and blood, so I walked away… It was too brutal and I had to get a check up.
Are you Philip?

What will be the gain if gaining this fulfilment will leave you broken. When will you stop measuring your fulfilment on societal standards? When will you just let yourself grow?
Don’t you have any concern for a healthy, peaceful mind?

Just like Philip I have eaten a great dose of the do-more syndrome… The “it’s not enough to be needed by people” mindset. The mindset that makes your hands want to do something, but the thing is we just don’t have what it takes to do what the world calls great(maybe at the moment). I have lived in this hell and anxiety and I know it’s not pretty. I had to let go and move off.

Who said we can’t let go…

Well here’s what someone else said, Morgan Harper Nichols said “It’s okay to let go and seek peace of mind.” Those words pierced right through my soul, releasing all the unrealistic needs and expectations from my young self.
It lead me to saying out loud, “you’re too young to be carrying these lies on your shoulder.”
Who made you believe you’ve always got to be enough. Smart enough, wise enough, good enough, skilled enough.

I think we all need to start getting comfortable sleeping and waking up to doing the small things that are difficult to do. Maybe.
It’s okay to start as a mediocre. The wrong thing is thinking that’s all you’ll be. It’s that fear that makes you run after what the world wants…
Based on popular demand is a killer. Don’t look at it. Based on popular demand is a fallacy capable of keeping people slaves without chains.
Don’t be that guy!

Start getting consistent with the little things nobody really notices. That’s the hardest thing to do… Because it’s small yet difficult and no body gives you praise…

Gratitude, love, care for obnoxious siblings, sharing when you obviously hate sharing all you have, giving others a helping hand, saying the truth, waking up early, reading books, going on social media and being conscious not to compare, reading the Bible, praying for yourself and others…

Learn how to live without praise and know you’re still getting it done. That’s one good drug if you’ve recognized the do-more syndrome.

P. S If you still feel like you need something to do. Look around, someone close to you is struggling with a little task. Help someone and get a thank you.

Featured image credit goes to me and my phone!

Who said you had to carry the world in your shoulder. Heaven is so big yet not everyone will go to heaven…

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12 September 2019

BIBLE JOURNAL AND FAITH

The LORD sent you, and will tell you what to say.


Today I’ve been reading, studying and pondering on John 12. John 12:40 led me to Isaiah 6:10.
I am a Christain. I do believe in Jesus. Sometimes I don’t feel like a person that believes, I don’t feel like there is Jesus but that’s just a feeling. Yet I have the faith that Jesus is true and that faith you see stays deep and it fills me with guilt when I don’t believe. Complicated sentence right?

Many people do not believe in God or Jesus. They just live their lives and I am very certain this is because of a deep fear they don’t admit to themselves. The fear of not being able to follow up with the Christian principles and works. The fear of lying to yourself for so long. The fear of being deceived. The fear of not living your life to the fullest. The fear of being restricted to a particular lifestyle. The fear of being conscious about your actions. The fear of how difficult it is. But also the weakness of man, the truth that man is weak and not strong enough to be good. The difficulty in doing what’s right.

I myself have questioned the existence of God longer than most unbelievers do. I have shouted to the skies and ask him to show himself to me, even though it’s with a sign. Because I wanted my own eyes to see his glory before I believe. I wanted to see for myself and not by what other people said to me. Why? Because of the fear of being deceived.

God is more spirit and nothing close to human except for the image.

First, If you want to find evidence of God’s existence and Jesus’ sacrifice you must first believe he exists… Just a simple believing first. That’s the deal he keeps. You must first believe before he can show himself to you. Just like any other deal we humans do. You do your part, he does his part and you must do it in honesty.
I am slowly finding reasons to believe in God, which will lead to believing in Jesus. You must first believe the earth did not just appear, believe in the sovereignty of a mighty God before you can start focusing on who Jesus is.

Next, you see Christians believe God gave Jesus so he can save the world. Here is how he led me towards understanding:
Before I say it, PLEASE PICK A BIBLE AND READ ISAIAH 60 and John 12.
NOW, we should start seeing Jesus as more of a principle than constantly demanding to see him. Jesus is rejected by thousands of people because he says the truth. And we all know how hard saying the truth is… There’s the fear of being mocked or beaten or hated or rejected and this fact itself proves the reality Jesus is.
The truth is something hard to be told in this world and Jesus himself being the TRUTH makes it excruciatingly hard to accept him or even talk about him.

Reading the Bible helps you know more of his principles. So to be able to find evidence of his existence you must read his principles and see if it matches what you already see happening now. In this evidence based research you must be willing to talk to him, like just ask him questions even though you hear no answers; this is basically that hard thing Christians call prayer.
We claim to be able to hear our own voices in our head. Sometimes some say things we normally wouldn’t say, sometimes they sound brutal and sometimes sound nice and good. Have we asked ourselves why some are good and some are evil. Have we asked ourselves why sometimes we can’t control the voices. That only means it’s controlled by something we can’t see and understand. Good or bad. And what we can’t see is called a spirit and God is a spirit… Spirit of good and most things the world is against.

Notice how a child is at birth, very inquisitive and gentle and ready to help. That’s the natural state before the tug of war between accepting what’s good and what’s evil.

Jesus is a principle that tells us to say the truth because everyone deserves the truth, to love and to continue spreading these principles with others, so they themselves will do good things and the earth is all rainbows. Jesus now is rejected by humans and seen as a fairytale.
Is this not what is happening now?

God said he sent his son Jesus, the word, the truth, the light in a dark world where everyone is ready to kill…. Why? Because God knew if people followed Jesus, this principle of saying the truth, loving people and giving to people about to die; He knew if the earth does this there will be less war, less starvation and wicked government, less greed because the truth will be told, less killing to acquire properties because everyone is ready to give. The world will be saved from all these evil and killing and selfishness and hurt, from this suicide bombing and harassment and discrimination and strive to please other people. Because like God commands “Don’t anger someone to sin”. If we obeyed God we wouldn’t do things to make someone angry and filled with hate.
God’s gospel from my understanding is truth, love, light, doing hard things and being rejected by majority of the world… Because the truth is hard for the world. The world chooses to just reject him and tell themselves there is no God. Meanwhile this very principle plays in our society.

Jesus is not just a religion, He is a way of life that saves man. The economy will be easier and killing will not be easy because love will be around.

Humans are lazy. We really don’t like hard work so we choose not to do hard things. We see the principal of Jesus taught in moral classes and company regulations but we are afraid to commit and choose to ignore Him.

If you want to learn more, pick the bible and watch God show you the original principles of the earth
Isaiah 6:9-10 says the whole conflict:

Isaiah 6:9 NLT
 And he said, “Yes, go, and say to this people, ‘Listen carefully, but do not understand. Watch closely, but learn nothing.’
 Isaiah 6:10 NLT
 Harden the hearts of these people. Plug their ears and shut their eyes. That way, they will not see with their eyes, nor hear with their ears, nor understand with their hearts and turn to me for healing.”
 https://bible.com/bible/116/isa.6.9.NLT

P. S To be honest most Christians make Christianity hard to accept because you don’t resonate to their picture of him. Some don’t even practice what they teach. God is spirit, God is love, Jesus is the truth that saves the earth from doing evil. All God wants is for you to believe in Jesus, that is, doing good will save the earth and will continue to save the earth.
“Where is the love? where is Jesus? “

I admit this is not all to Christianity, I admit Christian have their hard practices and rituals… But all God really wants is that you believe in Jesus (his word) and Jesus will save you and the world. And the greatest Christian practice is just to spread this word, that is Jesus despite the rejection. That you should live a lifestyle that displays Jesus, the truth.

Christians believe that Jesus is the only way to God that means the truth, love and doing good is the only way to God.

I wish I can say it all here. The earth is waiting for Jesus to appear before they believe him but we here on earth are suppose to adopt that spirit of truth and just live by it. The truth is hard.
Jesus dying on the cross just symbolises the fact that God have plans we can’t understand because we are are human. His death serves a purpose of forgiveness even when we fail in doing what’s right and just. So we can always ask for forgiveness and start again.

Jesus is everywhere because everyone demands to be told to truth.

Give God a chance, set aside other people’s ideas and go seek him yourself by believing and reading his word. He will guide you through even when you don’t see him.

You will grow in your faith. .

I was able to understand and explain from this perspective because I’ve been praying even when I hear no answers out loud and I’ve been reading the Bible even when I don’t understand.

God speaks through out thinking and advice from people that matches to his word and God teaches humans to be patient.

Give him a chance, open your heart and do hard things…

In her September Thoughts

11venth September

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COMMUNITY

11 September 2019

We can’t deny how beautiful solitude can be. The fact that we get more done when there is no one around our workspace is inviting. Not to mention the hidden dance moves we get to share with only ourselves, but nothing was ever established in solitude.
Things can be created in solitude but nothing was ever truly established in solitude.

Establishment itself is a pillar made of people.

Because we force ourselves to process all the success stories we see everywhere (even when in the bathroom you know someone thousand miles away that’s launching a yacht while all you’d be launching is a toilet sit) we feel rushed. We feel the world is running forward and we are the only ones sitting behind. These unrealistic expectation cause us to focus on the unrealistic instead of what is close to us. We quickly forget the joy of a community.

I believe the people you keep around you makes up your community. A community have always been known to be an unsophisticated, ordinary, small clan.
The truth is that we are not so extraordinary that means some of us still live in this ordinary small clan. Yet the type of persons we keep around us determine how long we’ll stay in the ordinary.

A community helps you grow, they slowly journey towards improvement.
In the reality the thing people call extraordinary is just long moments of perseverance. Those mediocre, ordinary days with little unseen improvement makes up the big extraordinary reality.

In this process we forget to put ourselves out there even with our inadequacies and imperfections.
It’s a water me, I water you movement. The clouds never rush.
These people you are able to laugh with in the hard days, these people that listen to all your complains about life, the ones you call for help, the ones that make you crack a rip and even cry, the ones that challenge you, inspire you, motivate you and even forces you to improve… They are the underestimated growth factors.

There should be moments of talking to people, there should be moments of giving the little you have.
Go out and do the simple you can. A community is made up of ordinary people doing the little ordinary things they can. What happens when you add together so much little things? They grow to make something bigger….

In a community when you’re weak, they might be stronger than you… And when they are weak, you see your strength and abilities come alive.
Wouldn’t it be fulfilling to be able to help someone break down. In the times of human pains, there are thousands of words ready to be said. The mouth wants to be free and the heart also wants to be free. The eyes wants to express and every part of the body is itching to release.
Wouldn’t it be nice to help. To say the words the person in pain just couldn’t say. Won’t it be kind to help them speak while they help themselve cry and feel.
A sense of belonging. A sense of support. A sense of community.
A simple way to meet a complicated human need.

Today has been a day of reflecting on my past emotions… And it’s been relieving. I don’t feel like saying much today but it’s still a challenge and I took it.

P. S Today’s blog featured image was taken with my mobile phone and edited by me and I feel accomplished. It’s a wonder where this feeling came from.

In her September Thoughts

10nTh September

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CHALLENGE

10 September 2019
I snoozed the alarm at 05 am, so I pretty much rushed myself to school. Today was a day I anticipated. I had pretty things to cross off my to-do list; start with a good morning routine, I had to go tool shopping, look for a nice house, make a post for the September Challenge and another post in respect to today being suicide prevention day.
One, I pretty much used my legs to walk so many blocks. I searched so many shops for the tools I needed.
Two, I came home, freshened up and was ready to post.
Boom. The document was missing. The story I prepared to post on my instagram in respect to suicide prevention day was missing. I didn’t shout, I couldn’t. I just stayed on the sit and assured myself I was sad. I still haven’t shouted. I didn’t bang the table, I just know I’m sad.
I apologize because just like fourth of September, tenth of September have turned out to be too personal. I feel like the day crashed.
No instagram post, No well thought out blog post. These were the top guys on my to-do lists. The fact that they didn’t go well made the day look unproductive.

Let’s switch to the bright side.
I did go shopping today. I went shopping for work space tools.
So here is a less personal tip:

  1. JOURNALS: Journals come in different sizes and designs. I personally don’t like small journals because I like to write freely except the to-do journals which I keep small. You can personalize your journal for any purpose.
    I make my to-do list in a journal and not on a piece of paper because flipping back at the previous days work makes me track my productivity and gives me good motivation to get done with the present lists.
    If you quickly forget your thoughts, keeping a journal around will be a nice habit to build. And to those trying to discover their life paths, journaling (not a real word) can turn out to be a pretty map. Try to categorize the journals and possibly keep multiple journals because this solves a problem of clustered information. I got a blue journal today.
  2. STICKY NOTES: Aside from being pretty and colourful, sticky notes can serve you in times when carrying a journal can be difficult. It can even make you read a book you find too plain or too Boring. It also does good work with vision boards and school notes. I bought a pack because I loved all the colours.
  3. HIGHLIGHTERS: very good example of the term, standing out from the crowd. Whatever detail you want to stand out from the rest can be highlighted. Even for designing pages you find too plain, it helps you outline your books with your own personality. I got a pack because I love colours, it’s my personality.
  4. BIBLE: I always new I was sinking in my Christan life. I developed a strong urge for rediscovering God and there’s no better way to do that than with a Bible. I wanted an outstanding pretty bible but I was low on budget. With the above tools you can turn your Bible into a rainbow. Bible study just got fun. I got NIV version and the bible feels so comfortable in my palms. It’s a new start.

These are a few, there are more sophisticated tools. But these ones just make me feel ready, new and pretty. Funny how new tools brings your table and mind alive.
Getting these tools can be a great way to start organizing your life and work. As I stepped into a new phase of personal development, I found it necessary to start with new tools. Fresh and ready for new stories. There’s this air it brings around you.
Maybe the thought that you have a handful of things in control now.

It’s just a great place to start. Start by making your work space bright and warm and new.

P. S not so much today… But everyday in September is a challenge and I accepted that challenge.

In her September Thoughts

9ineTh September

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2ND WEEK OF SEPTEMBER
THROUGH OUT THE FIRST WEEK, I HAVE:

  1. Lived a very intentional life, everyday.
  2. Exercised my writing habit for people.
  3. Had really deep thoughts about my life (which was a bit frustrating and tiring)
  4. Taken my time to appreciate my surroundings and see the beauty of creation.
  5. Managed to stay off social media during the day.
  6. Tried to build my faith and back it up with reasons that are meaningful to me.
  7. Had nice conversations with some of the people I was stalking.
  8. Prayed for someone each day (amazing if you asked me)
    Not so much but let’s see how this week goes…

GROWING PAINS


I have seen the term Growing Pains but I never really checked out what it meant because from the first day I set my wandering eyes on it, I registered one thing: It was what I was feeling everyday.
In this fast paced world with different shades of the same thing, it’s easy to loose yourself.

I dedicate my today’s thoughts to any one feeling depressed. This is in respect of this week, Suicide prevention week.
There are more than a thousand reasons for teens, young adults and even aged adults to be depressed. My focus for today is being depressed because of your growing pains.

Growth as I have experienced is not easy. There is the part where you have decided to make good use of your life, you’ve decided to be useful to the earth, you’re ready to do hard and amazing cool things but it feels like the whole of earth is against you because you don’t even know what to do, not to say you don’t even know where to start. Your mind is not helping you because you can’t even see a map of where you’re going to. This is depressing for people looking out for how they can start building their dream life. This feeling of being too dumb to figure things out and the feeling of not being good enough is bad on our self image and growth.

Here is a fast thing I want to say:
I have been deeply depressed. The one that doesn’t have to do with anybody else but yourself. There was no other person to be angry and furious at but myself. I felt like only me can help me figure out my life but I was being too dumb to even answer questions about myself. Questions like, what do you love doing, what are you good at; these questions were disturbing to me because I just couldn’t find the answers no matter how much I thought about them. My mind became a battle ground for angry thoughts and that made me feel a very obvious void in my chest. Like hot gases swirling in my chest and stomach. It was a living nightmare.
There are more hurtful reasons to be depressed but we can’t lie that it always boils down to one thing: the thought that we could just let go of our miserable lives already.

I thought of suicide, it looked inviting to me but I just couldn’t do it for a simple reason that if hell did exist, I didn’t deserve to go to hell. I believed I had already gone through so much emotional pain here on earth and I didn’t deserve another fleet of pain in hell. If suicide did lead to hell, I wasn’t going to take that root. The whole essence of dying was so I can find rest not pain.

I took another root. I stayed with the pain long enough to know it waan’t normal. I reached out to a woman I didn’t know but works in my school’s Medical Center. She felt pity for me, she was the right person and I didn’t plan talking to her. I just walked down to the Medical Center, opened the door and said “I need help”. While she was telling me the doctors were not in, she saw the silent tears and asked me to take a sit. We went through God’s word, the bible and we prayed.
The pain didn’t go away immediately, it didn’t go away for days, months; but I had a hope that it was going to go no matter how long it took. I felt truly lighter.

I didn’t plan saying so much of the story, but there goes nothing. This is not all, the story is darker and longer than this but here’s the next thing I want to paint in your hearts:
I am happy I was depressed. I am grateful to God for letting depression crawl into my soul. Why? Because that’s what growth is all about. It’s about knowing something is wrong and seeking for answers and solutions rather than running away from it. It’s about being strong, remaining in a skin you wish to run away from, long enough to be able to control that skin. It’s about adapting to the language of growth which is pain and discomfort.
If I was not depressed, I wouldn’t have had a soft spot for human suffering. I wouldn’t be reading books and seeking principles. I wouldn’t be taking the next step towards finding my life path.

Although I am not a Buddhist, the Buddha once said, “Pain is inevitable ” and this is a general truth. It should be a mindset we carry about. It’s a mindset for survivors and we all know from the cave men days, life has been about adaptation and survival. Preys find ways to block off predators and even a prey can switch to be a predator if it finds its strength; Else how do you explain large HUMANS fighting BACTERIA.

From biology class, I was thought that vaccination is introducing a weaker bacteria into a human’s system so the immune system adapts to fighting that bacteria, this helps build immunity against stronger bacteria. This is how growth works… If you desire to grow you have to learn how to adapt to pain because pain can never go away. Evil will keep coming. You’ll face greater disappointments, heartbreaks, loss… More people will die and the economy will keep falling and rising.

Pain is not here to kill you. It only tells you the limit is being exceeded and change needs to happen. Something needs to be done.
Because I hanged on long enough to survive, I have realised that every down moment comes with a new level. I passed over my first depression. More darker ones might come in the future but I have a lesson engraved in my memory of depression.
When the growing pains I feel gets too much, I am reminded by my scars that a new version of me is being born. In the pain I find my distraction from anticipating the new version of me. And I am not going to settle for any negative version.
At least I’ll have a good story to tell. I’ll be able to genuinely pat someone on the back and wipe off a tear from another growing soul.

Hang on. Earth is still learning how to accommodate humans…

  • written note to myself during my depressed days. Full emotion expression found in commful. To check out the post on commuful put my name into the search icon

To write love on her arms (twloha) is a community that tries to save more people from picking suicide over growing. They Try to create suicide awareness and share survivors stories. In respect to suicide prevention week you can check them out on instagram @twloha
Also follow and use the hash tag:

#youmaketodaybetter

You make today better. The world is better because you’re adapting and growing.

In her September Thoughts

7eventh September

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The Stalker

Reaching out to people

Being called a weirdo more than I have sneezed have led to so much destruction to my self image. The important fact here is that I am healing and so are you. It’s a chance that comes with each day.
In this process of healing and finding answers to your persistent questions, communication is key.
In my yesterday’s article, I spoke about the gradual steps we can take to grow in the process phase of living. One of which I’ve been practising lately; communication.

In times of struggles and confusion it is good psychology to ask questions. Instead of chasing all you wish to do and comparing yourself to people you admire, it will be wise to reach out as much as possible and ask questions (there are still nice people in the world)

Two nights ago I was reading Mark Manson’s book just before bed. This part was centered on problem solving and I decided to carry out a small exercise before bed. I opened up a fresh page in my journal and tried to pen down all my disturbing problems, then the magic happened; I couldn’t just find them anymore. I found it silly that they weren’t coming off because I new they existed. They hunted me for crying out loud, I do feel them but I couldn’t just write them down. The ones I listed sounded more like me nagging.
Sillly world.
Have you been here before?

I have to tell you that this weird you, does have a twin. There’s someone out there ready to figure out your problems with you. Someone will fall in love with the real weird you.
That night I realised your problems show themselves when you’re not trying to find them. They pop up while you’re complaining and discussing… not when you’re with a pen trying to stab them right in the eye.

Problems are hot chicks that love to be acknowledged

Communication helps healing. It is an exercise that opens your subconscious and your vulnerabilities. Talking to the right person sure helps you figure out your problems.
It’s more like an interview where every complain you drop is being questioned and just like a mother onion, every layer of your complain is being opened until you get to the core problem.
This thought was born from a conversation I had last night that left me ecstatic.
Sometimes we know what to do but don’t just do them till someone makes us know we have to take it seriously; that’s what my conversation with Elizabeth did for me. This is what the purple journal is about: helping you remember and take seriously all the things you know.

Thanks to Elizabeth’s readiness to listen to someone, most of my problems have been figured out and new commitments have been resolved.
I offer you what Elizabeth offered me last night:
How about you do this, take a break.

I accepted the break and asked her what it’s going to be like. Here are a few of my new commitments I’ll be taking down along side my September thoughts challenge:

  • I’m going to stop constantly stressing and pondering on what to do and start.
  • Take care of myself: That includes a new interest in body care and outfits. I hardly care about my outfit or appearance and for a growing lady, that’s too bad. I’ve been made fun of for appearing so unkempt, therefore it’s high time I grow up and start appearing intentional instead of looking like a chased mother hen. At least I’m sure my mom will notice this change.
  • Learn: Instead of comparing and drooling over someone’s success, I’m going to take my stalking to the next level and really send off direct messages. There’s no harm in trying.
  • Read: I’m about to step up my reading game. Just like what Aileen suggested, I’m going to read broad and far at my own pace.
  • Podcasts: For an intending podcaster like me, it will be nice to learn by listening. I already have a list if podcasts to take seriously and that includes: Age of minority podcast, Lavendaire podcast, Hope and prose podcast… and more by popular successful people and ministers.
  • YouTube videos : My data will perish but those videos will let my creative vision bloom. Just sitting back and watch people do their thing!
  • Plant: I’ll keep trying to build my in house plants
  • Music: I have more foreign music to catch up on. Even though I have no idea what the language is saying it sure sounds pretty to my ears…

Just merely a decision to sit back and relax. To use the available resources I have no matter how inadequate they are; That’s what artists do.

Learning can be tedious to me but by watching and following great people of our interest you never can tell when you’re learning or having fun.

We sure knew all these before now but that’s the point; to remind us and make us take them seriously.
You can never be too late. Take it easy, this is the process zone where we just live and things unfold by being intentional.

I designed a list of these new routines and before the end of today it’ll be hanging on the purple walls of my small room.
I do pray for the grace and strength to just hold on and stay committed to the small hard things.

Elizabeth Adewale is a beautiful young woman. She’s a new age blogger and mobile photographer. And what I love about her the most is that she’s trying to grow and she’s ready to help.
One of my favorite part of our conversation was when she said,
“Because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you can’t help others that are also struggling…”


That’s bold. That’s brave and that’s what I’m moving towards.
You can check her instagram page:
@theelizabethadewale

You can also visit her blog.

here’s another amazing person you can check out on instagram @Oliviamorganwhite

Now go out there and be a bold brave curious not so annoying stalker! (I’m literally screaming) Start by building your community.

P. S This is not a sponsored post Just mere recommendations

feels good…..

In her September Thoughts

6ixTh September

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PROCESS


WARNING: Sorry for the in coming raw emotion with the heat.

In an ever new digital fast paced world with early success stories it’s easy to kill yourself. All the way from this point, no thanks to the speed at which success can be shared. No thanks to the boat load of problems globalization has created from trying to solve problems. The mass of information out there makes it all so hard to process. This only proves Mark Manson’s words that solving problems will help create more… Still, thanks to all these emotional and psychological pain and struggles because they sure lead us to who we are meant to be. That’s growth. The not so pretty part is called process.

I had to understand the meaning of process. Process was just a usual science class term but you see, it’s the restlessness and struggles I have felt that helped write the meaning of process on the thick walls of my heart and that definitely had to be painful. hard nail writing on my heart, ouchhhhh!

After thinking about the Buddha, the once confused prince who sat under a tree for over 49 days and came to a realization that “Pain is inevitable (unavoidable)”, I also have sat under all my confusions and for solid 9 seconds came with a mantra that “Everything is necessary”. This include all the ugly things and situations we’ve experienced.

See, Marsai Martin born on 14th of August 2004 (that means she’s just fifteen) is already a producer. She has something great starting in her life. At least she does have a direction or niche now. Yes, after stalking on her, I thought about my life. How old am I? yes I’m older than her and yes I am still as confused as the car that looks like a bus. Maybe a truck.
It was around April that I made a post saying:

“I am tired of reading so many success stories, please give me a book about a failure who failed till the end!”

At that time I just wanted to grab and read on some story that sounded like mine. But I hope I’m not thinking like this anymore.

All I’m trying to say is that, we are here, right now in this hard phase.
I read Aileen’s article and hearing her list my emotions and conditions one by one made me feel so ecstatic. So relieved that I’m not too extra or not taking things too seriously. That I’m not just being dramatic or too ambitious.

All the things you don’t have, all the equipment you can’t avoid, all the places you can’t go, all the opportunities you don’t have… all exist because it’s necessary they don’t exist now. Because they might not be what you need now… Maybe all you need now is to change or sit or sleep or pray or read or stalk or go to Bible school or…
In this world we all have a purpose, and there are principles, attitudes and spirits that are willing to help us become who we were made to be. To find that fulfillment.

The best of artists where made by being able to do something out of the little they were given.

And I ask you just as Aileen asked me in her article(yes I took it personal):
“Does any of these sound familiar? “
Are you constantly comparing yourself to every appealing success protagonists?
Are you lost, confused and obviously frustrated?

Do you want to cry right now or you mildly wish you can be in a comma for a while?
You know you want to do great amazing things but just don’t know where to start.
You are scared of oblivion just like me and the whole idea of being mediocre makes you anxious and sad. It kills you that there is a possibility your a mediocre and not creative enough. You feel like jumping into an ocean because you can’t just find your direction in life. You want to move somewhere, possibly fly but you don’t know how to. You have so many questions to ask. You are angry you can’t afford all the nice things you need to get started on something… The lists go on and on.

I’ve come to a realization after all these emotions hunted me.
You just can’t skip the process.
And everybody have their time. For you to grow your soul needs to heal. The time taken might just depend on how broken your self image is. Maybe.

All these emotions makes up the process. It’s necessary because you don’t just wake up and have life already figured out. More often, it’s through living that you get to learn more about yourself and interests.

The process offers you the opportunity to know that everything is not fine and you could be much more. It’s in the process you learn how to be stronger. It’s in the process you learn how to deal with oppositions.
It’s the process that brings out your success attitude; being bold, having faith, being ready, being brave with your ideas….

My feelings overwhelm me and I can’t wait to get out of this process phase but rather than paying attention to the struggles, I have decided to take note of all the lessons but that doesn’t mean I won’t cry when it gets hard or I won’t complain to myself for a while.

I can testify that I have now found the answers to some of my questions. More are still unanswered but I have to wait for them to unfold.
Sometimes all you have to do is wait for life to unfold but constantly making sure you’re not waving off every opportunity while waiting.

Sometimes it’s about obeying your instincts and taking a chance on the unknown.

Aileen, the lady behind the Lavendaire blog created a course for dealing with these emotions and creating your dream life. I am not working and can’t pay for this class and that’s a pity for me. I’ll have to learn the hard way. I am happy she still left tips on how she grew from this phase. I remember her talking about all the books she read and the leaps of faith she took; And I am going to start off by taking these steps.

If you have this money or a few bucks to spare, make a sacrifice and enroll into this course. It sure looks pretty and feels hopeful.
Though we can’t actually skip the process, this might save you more time and make you ready for the process.
You can check out this amazing article with the link below.
https://lavendaire.lpages.co/create-your-dream-life/

You can also check her instagram and YouTube videos
@Lavendaire

You can also take a chance and read Mark Manson’s Book, The subtle art of not giving a f*ck.
Gratitude for the few answered questions is a great way to enjoy the process…

P. S This is not a sponsored post. Just mere recommendations.

Let’s grow together.

.Faith .Lifestyle documentary .Young writer

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