PROCESS

WARNING: Sorry for the in coming raw emotion with the heat.

In an ever new digital fast paced world with early success stories it’s easy to kill yourself. All the way from this point, no thanks to the speed at which success can be shared. No thanks to the boat load of problems globalization has created from trying to solve problems. The mass of information out there makes it all so hard to process. This only proves Mark Manson’s words that solving problems will help create more… Still, thanks to all these emotional and psychological pain and struggles because they sure lead us to who we are meant to be. That’s growth. The not so pretty part is called process.

I had to understand the meaning of process. Process was just a usual science class term but you see, it’s the restlessness and struggles I have felt that helped write the meaning of process on the thick walls of my heart and that definitely had to be painful. hard nail writing on my heart, ouchhhhh!

After thinking about the Buddha, the once confused prince who sat under a tree for over 49 days and came to a realization that “Pain is inevitable (unavoidable)”, I also have sat under all my confusions and for solid 9 seconds came with a mantra that “Everything is necessary”. This include all the ugly things and situations we’ve experienced.

See, Marsai Martin born on 14th of August 2004 (that means she’s just fifteen) is already a producer. She has something great starting in her life. At least she does have a direction or niche now. Yes, after stalking on her, I thought about my life. How old am I? yes I’m older than her and yes I am still as confused as the car that looks like a bus. Maybe a truck.
It was around April that I made a post saying:

“I am tired of reading so many success stories, please give me a book about a failure who failed till the end!”

At that time I just wanted to grab and read on some story that sounded like mine. But I hope I’m not thinking like this anymore.

All I’m trying to say is that, we are here, right now in this hard phase.
I read Aileen’s article and hearing her list my emotions and conditions one by one made me feel so ecstatic. So relieved that I’m not too extra or not taking things too seriously. That I’m not just being dramatic or too ambitious.

All the things you don’t have, all the equipment you can’t avoid, all the places you can’t go, all the opportunities you don’t have… all exist because it’s necessary they don’t exist now. Because they might not be what you need now… Maybe all you need now is to change or sit or sleep or pray or read or stalk or go to Bible school or…
In this world we all have a purpose, and there are principles, attitudes and spirits that are willing to help us become who we were made to be. To find that fulfillment.

The best of artists where made by being able to do something out of the little they were given. 

And I ask you just as Aileen asked me in her article(yes I took it personal):
“Does any of these sound familiar? “
Are you constantly comparing yourself to every appealing success protagonists?
Are you lost, confused and obviously frustrated?

Do you want to cry right now or you mildly wish you can be in a comma for a while?
You know you want to do great amazing things but just don’t know where to start.
You are scared of oblivion just like me and the whole idea of being mediocre makes you anxious and sad. It kills you that there is a possibility your a mediocre and not creative enough. You feel like jumping into an ocean because you can’t just find your direction in life. You want to move somewhere, possibly fly but you don’t know how to. You have so many questions to ask. You are angry you can’t afford all the nice things you need to get started on something… The lists go on and on.

I’ve come to a realization after all these emotions hunted me.
You just can’t skip the process.
And everybody have their time. For you to grow your soul needs to heal. The time taken might just depend on how broken your self image is. Maybe.

All these emotions makes up the process. It’s necessary because you don’t just wake up and have life already figured out. More often, it’s through living that you get to learn more about yourself and interests.

The process offers you the opportunity to know that everything is not fine and you could be much more. It’s in the process you learn how to be stronger. It’s in the process you learn how to deal with oppositions.
It’s the process that brings out your success attitude; being bold, having faith, being ready, being brave with your ideas….

My feelings overwhelm me and I can’t wait to get out of this process phase but rather than paying attention to the struggles, I have decided to take note of all the lessons but that doesn’t mean I won’t cry when it gets hard or I won’t complain to myself for a while.

I can testify that I have now found the answers to some of my questions. More are still unanswered but I have to wait for them to unfold.
Sometimes all you have to do is wait for life to unfold but constantly making sure you’re not waving off every opportunity while waiting.

Sometimes it’s about obeying your instincts and taking a chance on the unknown.

Aileen, the lady behind the Lavendaire blog created a course for dealing with these emotions and creating your dream life. I am not working and can’t pay for this class and that’s a pity for me. I’ll have to learn the hard way. I am happy she still left tips on how she grew from this phase. I remember her talking about all the books she read and the leaps of faith she took; And I am going to start off by taking these steps.

If you have this money or a few bucks to spare, make a sacrifice and enroll into this course. It sure looks pretty and feels hopeful.
Though we can’t actually skip the process, this might save you more time and make you ready for the process.
You can check out this amazing article with the link below.
https://lavendaire.lpages.co/create-your-dream-life/

You can also check her instagram and YouTube videos
@Lavendaire

You can also take a chance and read Mark Manson’s Book, The subtle art of not giving a f*ck.
Gratitude for the few answered questions is a great way to enjoy the process…

P. S This is not a sponsored post. Just mere recommendations.

Let’s grow together.