Tag Archives: Anxiety

In her September Thoughts

20 Seventh

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WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY PEACE SEEMS THREATENED?

SHAKING CALM

27 September 2019

“What a wonderful world…. “

We live in a new age world where being restless and anxious is a full blown disease. We sit in the midst of people yet wander to places far from the present. It is now normal to be in the present yet know nothing about what’s happening in the present, because our minds are always seeking for what’s next — not what’s before us.
Now whenever we get a chance to be happy, all we can do is imagine what it would be like when the party is over and the sun goes down. What it’ll be like when life comes back at us.

Why do you want to ruin the present by imagining and meditating on what could go wrong — in the future!

PEACE AND HOPE

Yeah, I keep mentioning this. I can’t hide how overwhelmed and grateful I feel for this. The bible says, “my peace I leave with you…” I have personally experienced this peace. When conflicting ideas and thoughts come to my mind, it feels like my mind is not willing to hold on to it for so long. It just longs to be settled and simply, peaceful.

FEAR

Again. The world will always have opposing forces. It’s not a surprise that in the midst of so much peace and calm, wild thoughts attacks us. It’s not a surprise that when we refuse these thoughts, a new war starts to build up in our minds; FEAR.

We accuse ourselves for being too relaxed. Our mind starts accusing us as being extremely indifferent or too carefree. Our minds can even accuse us for being too scared to face our problems. Such truthful lies!
We’ve lived on this earth long enough to believe a lie that being peaceful is abnormal. The trend is to be worried and overly concerned about all the things we can’t handle at the moment.

In the middle of the calm and peace, there might exist a building fear of loosing this peace. Peace feels so good and miraculous that we might actually start becoming worried of loosing this peace. We forget that this fear itself is a perfect way to start giving out our peace.

Why think about what will happen when you loose your peace of mind… And maybe returned to being the clumsy, anxious, sick kitten? Why do that when you can just — settle.

Lately I’ve been waving off this uncomfortable thought of loosing this peace and hope that I am so excited about, the one I am so surprised and grateful for.
We become scared that the moment we loose our peace, we become fraudsters. It begins to feel like we tricked the world and made them believe in a peace that was just perhaps a mood swing. We get scared of admitting that the growth we so claimed to have was just for a little while. We get scared it will stand against the new practice and lifestyle we’ve come to preach about, enjoy and share with the world around us…

BEING STRONG

Humans have grown so accustomed to waving off the present while holding on to the future in their heads. We can’t deny the fact that the present will always be the present and the future will always be the future. In as much as we are making preparations for a FUTURE downfall, we can also be grateful and happy in the moments we are standing on.

Well, what can I say. Instead of thinking about all these, we could choose to just enjoy this moment while it lasts; this peace. We could always write this feeling down and keep the memory. And when it seems like it’s gone, we could always come back to that entry and know that there was a time we were this peaceful. This can be a great source of hope. If we do this, we might just be filled with the faith that it can happen again.

The faith is not about not getting into bad times and moments; for they must come. The faith believes in fighting… And it says, “fight the good fight of faith.” The faith doesn’t mean we won’t get troubled, it simply tells us to fight with faith when the struggles and worries come. It tells us not to settle for it. It tells us to believe and win over oppositions, even when it seems too hard. It teaches patience in war.

“Change is inevitable.”

Just look at you. Few months ago you were so anxious you’ll never get to this point. Look at you showing off so much power and strength you’ve built up as you passed through your tiny holes… Look at you now in the lights. Even though you might not have so much light around you, now you see the light. Now you have a stronger chance of seeing your way to the bigger lights.

In essence, once you thought it will never be possible but you’re now living in your thought out future impossibility. You have grown more knowledgeable. Stronger. More patient. More open. More vulnerable and better.
Even though your peace and hope will get taken away from you again, always remember that it’s an opportunity to go through another growth process. When you came out of your last struggle, you came out better.

Hope and faith can hold you in this moment of fear. Through hope and faith you can be rooted in a believe that; it will only build your peace. Maybe this time when your peace comes back to you; when you win back your peace, it will be much greater. You will get stronger and firmer.

This is the idle growth mindset and faith.

We must be able to accept who change is and know that change is definitely coming for us. It’s coming on an attempt to take us through the highs and lows so at the end we can become great, strong and skilled surfers of life.
It was through the rough storms and pain that you learnt the value of peace. It was through these moments you discovered the beauty of peace. Would you settle for this place you have now, when you know you can have much more? It was through the journey of anxiety and worry that you found this peace you once never knew to exist.

Even though your beautiful, loved peace goes away, maybe you’ll only journey into a deeper form of peace. A more secured kind, planted in the memories of your journey.
You can choose to enjoy your peace while it lasts and fight for it or you can choose to see the brighter side of the change about to come. You can choose to anticipate just how beautiful, refined and genuine your peace will become when you meet it again.

Growth comes in so many areas of life and time. Just because you’ve grown in one area or phase, doesn’t mean you’re done growing. We never stop growing through life.

Grow with The Purple Journal today.

“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous!”
John 14:27 TPT
https://bible.com/bible/1849/jhn.14.27.TPT

NEWS FLASH: For those who didn’t join us from the beginning, this note is to remind you that the purple journal is approaching the end of this series. This series is one that brings to the light, the September thoughts of The Purple Journal as this journal goes through a growth journey.
We strongly encourage people that feel like they just can’t figure out what’s going on in their young lives to give this series a chance. It’s called “In her September thoughts.”
You can also visit past post since the beginning of the month. It will help you move with trail of thoughts and understand better.

How has your month been and what are you planning to grab as the new month arrives?

From The Purple Journal
With love, light and grace…

XOXO

In her September Thoughts

6ixTh September

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PROCESS


WARNING: Sorry for the in coming raw emotion with the heat.

In an ever new digital fast paced world with early success stories it’s easy to kill yourself. All the way from this point, no thanks to the speed at which success can be shared. No thanks to the boat load of problems globalization has created from trying to solve problems. The mass of information out there makes it all so hard to process. This only proves Mark Manson’s words that solving problems will help create more… Still, thanks to all these emotional and psychological pain and struggles because they sure lead us to who we are meant to be. That’s growth. The not so pretty part is called process.

I had to understand the meaning of process. Process was just a usual science class term but you see, it’s the restlessness and struggles I have felt that helped write the meaning of process on the thick walls of my heart and that definitely had to be painful. hard nail writing on my heart, ouchhhhh!

After thinking about the Buddha, the once confused prince who sat under a tree for over 49 days and came to a realization that “Pain is inevitable (unavoidable)”, I also have sat under all my confusions and for solid 9 seconds came with a mantra that “Everything is necessary”. This include all the ugly things and situations we’ve experienced.

See, Marsai Martin born on 14th of August 2004 (that means she’s just fifteen) is already a producer. She has something great starting in her life. At least she does have a direction or niche now. Yes, after stalking on her, I thought about my life. How old am I? yes I’m older than her and yes I am still as confused as the car that looks like a bus. Maybe a truck.
It was around April that I made a post saying:

“I am tired of reading so many success stories, please give me a book about a failure who failed till the end!”

At that time I just wanted to grab and read on some story that sounded like mine. But I hope I’m not thinking like this anymore.

All I’m trying to say is that, we are here, right now in this hard phase.
I read Aileen’s article and hearing her list my emotions and conditions one by one made me feel so ecstatic. So relieved that I’m not too extra or not taking things too seriously. That I’m not just being dramatic or too ambitious.

All the things you don’t have, all the equipment you can’t avoid, all the places you can’t go, all the opportunities you don’t have… all exist because it’s necessary they don’t exist now. Because they might not be what you need now… Maybe all you need now is to change or sit or sleep or pray or read or stalk or go to Bible school or…
In this world we all have a purpose, and there are principles, attitudes and spirits that are willing to help us become who we were made to be. To find that fulfillment.

The best of artists where made by being able to do something out of the little they were given.

And I ask you just as Aileen asked me in her article(yes I took it personal):
“Does any of these sound familiar? “
Are you constantly comparing yourself to every appealing success protagonists?
Are you lost, confused and obviously frustrated?

Do you want to cry right now or you mildly wish you can be in a comma for a while?
You know you want to do great amazing things but just don’t know where to start.
You are scared of oblivion just like me and the whole idea of being mediocre makes you anxious and sad. It kills you that there is a possibility your a mediocre and not creative enough. You feel like jumping into an ocean because you can’t just find your direction in life. You want to move somewhere, possibly fly but you don’t know how to. You have so many questions to ask. You are angry you can’t afford all the nice things you need to get started on something… The lists go on and on.

I’ve come to a realization after all these emotions hunted me.
You just can’t skip the process.
And everybody have their time. For you to grow your soul needs to heal. The time taken might just depend on how broken your self image is. Maybe.

All these emotions makes up the process. It’s necessary because you don’t just wake up and have life already figured out. More often, it’s through living that you get to learn more about yourself and interests.

The process offers you the opportunity to know that everything is not fine and you could be much more. It’s in the process you learn how to be stronger. It’s in the process you learn how to deal with oppositions.
It’s the process that brings out your success attitude; being bold, having faith, being ready, being brave with your ideas….

My feelings overwhelm me and I can’t wait to get out of this process phase but rather than paying attention to the struggles, I have decided to take note of all the lessons but that doesn’t mean I won’t cry when it gets hard or I won’t complain to myself for a while.

I can testify that I have now found the answers to some of my questions. More are still unanswered but I have to wait for them to unfold.
Sometimes all you have to do is wait for life to unfold but constantly making sure you’re not waving off every opportunity while waiting.

Sometimes it’s about obeying your instincts and taking a chance on the unknown.

Aileen, the lady behind the Lavendaire blog created a course for dealing with these emotions and creating your dream life. I am not working and can’t pay for this class and that’s a pity for me. I’ll have to learn the hard way. I am happy she still left tips on how she grew from this phase. I remember her talking about all the books she read and the leaps of faith she took; And I am going to start off by taking these steps.

If you have this money or a few bucks to spare, make a sacrifice and enroll into this course. It sure looks pretty and feels hopeful.
Though we can’t actually skip the process, this might save you more time and make you ready for the process.
You can check out this amazing article with the link below.
https://lavendaire.lpages.co/create-your-dream-life/

You can also check her instagram and YouTube videos
@Lavendaire

You can also take a chance and read Mark Manson’s Book, The subtle art of not giving a f*ck.
Gratitude for the few answered questions is a great way to enjoy the process…

P. S This is not a sponsored post. Just mere recommendations.

Let’s grow together.