Tag Archives: Gratitude

Productivity, Timely Series

Life Reset At Eighteen!

Leave a comment

I am holding up for a LIFE RESET AT 18.

First, I’ll love to scream this, “I’m back!”. This writer is resurrected, I pray.

Hurray to you all like me looking forward to a life reset as you turn big 18 [and those anticipating 18].
Age eighteen is society’s golden age, most of us “day old eighteens” are busy trying to pull the best outfit, the best party and share the most gorgeous images straight out of the studio. Nice one.


If you are a control and productivity fanatic like me, well, you are definitely not alone. Welcome. Here’s a ghost cup of coffee, tea [or any refreshment you love] sit back, relax, I will just roll over a fresh canvas and we can start this reset art.


Why am I looking forward to a life reset?


You see, big eighteen is society’s grand license to more expectations and it’s not easy to skip on the demands pilling up from yourself to do better.
No pressure. I’m not pressuring myself or expecting myself to figure everything out, no. I just did a good reflection and saw some flaws in my character that I’m paying for with my fulfillment as a young person.


This is my personal way of giving myself another chance to start all over again with all the qualities I took for granted: actions, boldness, consistency, discipline, commitment, systems, and so on. If I don’t declare a reset I’ll feel uneasy and like I’m just trying to mend old failures but what I want is a new person trying to be better as an individual… bringing to life with baby steps all the characteristics and disposition I’ll love to see in myself.
It would not be hasty; it will not be perfect [though I love the idea of perfect]. It will be struggling to choose commitment daily as much as I can. It will be doing the work rather than just making endless lists.
Your turn. What is your why?

How am I carrying out this reset?

My photo before 12:00am
  • WRITING X JOURNALING


For the past 10 days before my birthday, I tried putting down in a digital notepad [keep notes] all my reflections and thoughts I had about the coming big 18 and ending 17. This helped me with a glimpse of clarity in what I think I did wrong, did right and what I will love to change; then came a list of things I’ll want to do.
So:
I created a random document in my phone called “life reset” and dropped an idea of what I’ll like to do whenever the idea came and after a while I tried considering and organizing the events.

  • DECLUTTER
From google


Believe me this was a big deal to me. I am yet to see some of the results but there is peace in knowing you have less around you. It makes sense that as you try to RESET, you take out things that you don’t use anymore or you are no longer acquainted with. It ushers in that sense of freshness and newness. Try not to go overboard with this or analyze this too much. Try not to remove things that you’ll regret, just remove whatever you know is not necessary.

Here is what I did:

I deleted contacts that I didn’t use frequently and those I had second thoughts about; I wrote them down in the contact form at the back of my journal just in case the need for them arises. Believe me I wanted to remove so much more than I already did but some acquaintances need to stay even though communication is not frequent example course mates, and people that think they know you but don’t.
I deleted videos, images, messages, apps, files, SONGS. I love music; so much. But I knew I had to let go of those songs I’m so quick to next when they start playing. What is the use of having a long list of songs when you’re always skipping a lot [I can always download again when I finally miss them]. This felt hard at first but after then, I felt really good.

I know I will still do more of decluttering because of the fresh feeling it holds. I’m looking forward to library and wardrobe declutter once I am ready for thrift shopping.
The act of decluttering did set that vibe of a rest… The mood was ignited. That’s pretty much it [for me at least]

  • BIG CHANGE


I FINALLY came up with what all this was about. Why? Why do I want to change? Goals and tasks are based on a central desire. Choosing that desire automatically puts you through your goals when systems are created. Mine was:


▪️Reducing procrastination as much as possible.
▪️Growing discipline
▪️Taking more actions more than I make lists and goals. That is, being less passive and more active.

And the plan here was to stick with taking baby steps DAILY until I sink into autopilot.

  • SHEDULES AND ROUTINES


OKAY, I am still in the process of creating a functioning, realistic and productive schedule and building it into a routine. My goal for this routine is:

to know what to do and realize the time for actions, not necessary living an adventure-free routine life. No, just scheduling my activities and guarding those times least I neglect my commitments.


I have certainly asked myself, are you ready to commit? And I try to say to myself, that no matter how small and mundane these tasks may seem, it is not here to give me glory but to help mould my character as a young adult.

I am yet to establish these routines but I hope it goes well and I HOPE to stay committed daily and I won’t feel to make adjustments if any time block fails.
I am going to adopt the pomodoro method of getting this done [tomato unit 🍅] and soon enough I’ll have feedbacks. Also, I’ll be scheduling specific tasks for specific time blocks.

Be sure to watch youtube videos, ask question to both trusted people and google [yet guard your choices]. Get to know how others are pulling through. All these will open you to new ideas you’ll love to test.

  • BOOKS

IN ALL you do, never neglect reading books. Make it a frequent task as much as you can. As for me:
I will be exploring classic novels and financial books, I pray and I will try to take aesthetically pleasing photos of which ever I engage in [for the gram and my eyes].

Try as much as possible to explore new genres of books as this might open you to new interests or ideas.

  • LANGUAGE


YES I will be learning a new language and I think you should. I am doing this clearly from my love of accents, polyglots and playing characters. They say passion is not enough so I have gone to google and searched up,

“Why it is important that I learn a second language”.

There you have it. As for me, my first pick is Spanish for a second language. So please remind me I am a becoming student of Spanish, gracias. I am about to buy a cheap Spanish lesson notebook which I’ll be using for this long journey. And I hope to make a future blog post on my progress and process under the category productivity and growth. Speaking of categories…

  • THE BIBLE
  • I have not been reading my Bible and that has to change. Whether it was born from my reflection or from God’s will… It remains beautiful

I have not been reading my Bible and that has to change. Whether it was born from my reflection or from God’s will… It remains beautiful. Recently I kept wondering why I am a fanatic for romance and for love in general, love displayed in life overall. I concluded that I might just be in love with love itself… Within a moment of epiphany I realized that God is love and Jesus must be real. I realized that it could be Jesus himself showing me the beauty of love: who he is himself and why I should love. I choose faith, I choose to love him because he loved me first… And I’m reading the Bible to learn how to love, to change into all those qualities I admire. I choose to grow in love

  • CATEGORIES

I HAVE temporarily categorized my actions and focus into the following: productivity, language, school, reading, socials, spiritual, photography, and looks. It’s not fixed, things can change, and this will help me organize my actions, mobile space and information.

TYPYING ALL these now just showed me how much I am planning on committing to. This would SURELY not be easy because I am a respectable, high ranked, professional procrastinator and planner without major actions. But then again, that’s it. That’s what I desperately want to change.

I hope to share my progress via my instagram account and brush that one a bit as I am a lover of aesthetically pleasing photos.

Due to the Coronavirus pandemic my plan of purchasing a camera and learning editing has been suspended till further notice.


I HOPE to keep up with school work and study my bible frequently. All these, I wish to DO, key word, DO.
It’s been a long chat, I forgot to refill your cup of tea [or whatever you may be drinking], forgive my manners. It’s been a pleasure chatting with you on my birthday and new age.

Above all, I pray I don’t sleep out of my commitments for I will deeply break my heart and accountability all over again.
And like I said before, Baby steps, that’s just what it is.

Blossom

X

In her September Thoughts

Thirtieth

Leave a comment

Update: This post was initially created on the 28th of September, but failed to publish due to site issues.

To be really honest, I don’t feel like writing anything today but I’m still going to try.
Okay.
Last night, I saw a post by Joyce Meyer and it said, “Working out have great benefits but it’s still hard… What hard thing are you doing?”

In this millennial, it’s obvious how emotions are overrated. We tend to live our lives according to our feelings. We do things just because we feel like it. We have evolved into a generation that live to merely satisfy feelings. If something feels hard, we avoid it and move on to what feels better.

This has turned out to be a major contribution to the growing feeling of entitlement. We now feel like we have the qualification and right to anything good we desire (according to how we feel about it).

Somehow, this has seriously doubled the rate of depression. Because of the inundation of extraordinary stories and motivation, everyone now feels entitled to significance. When this attention and societal worth is not forth coming, we tend to feel denied of what we claim to have deserved. We get filled with so much sadness, anger and bitterness towards living. Some might keep trying so hard, some might give up and fall back to continuous movie nights, late night alcohol and more junk food.

This same attitude of entitlement has destroyed the true value of life itself. We set out on missions aimed at getting back everything the world owes us. We do things just to prove our worth to the world. This can get motivational and inspire success but this can also get really bad; because entitlement leaves us unsatisfied and obsessively desperate.

We forget that we came into this world with nothing and will definitely leave with nothing. We even grow in this attitude and feel entitled to life. We wake up in the morning and feel no air of gratitude for a new day. Why? Because we feel we qualify to still be alive. We feel we are not done getting back what life took from us, so we just can’t die or loose an arm or a kidney. The list goes on and on and yes I am also guilty of this attitude (That’s why I say ‘we’).

In some way or the other we all are…

If you’re not feeling entitled to life, you’ll be feeling entitled to love and attention. If not that, you might feel entitled to beauty or wealth or fame or skills or health.

Here is a personal experience:
I always believed we had to do something special so we can prove we are smart and great enough. It was a message preached everywhere. No doubts, I grew up living up to that message and searching for more of that toxic message. Everyone had something they were great at; that one thing that’ll make them stand out. You see, I’ll later grow up searching for this gifts or talent I possessed. I will search and search and nothing will seem enough for me because I possessed no exceptional skill. I will go on to be really depressed about my life and form a habit of crying to myself, drowning in self- pity and self-hate.

It’s only now that I’ve grown to realise that kind of attitude and quest itself was a form of entitlement and playing victim. It’s really hard to admit it, but maybe all I was looking for was attention ( I swear I’m cringing now, don’t mock me… I never expected this post to go this way).

We grow up feeling entitled to an extraordinary ability. We skip the knowledge that we have no idea who we really are, and that only time and experience can lead us into learning who we truly are.

I knew I could always learn a skill since I had non. But no, “entitlement”— I didn’t feel like learning. I felt that learning a skill will only make it annoying and because I felt so, I let my head and emotions grow larger with entitlement. I kept on forcing answers out of myself (even when they weren’t just there—yet).

Imagine the amount of self torture. This might sound crazy and ordinary to you, but this made me cry night and day—the realisation (lie) that I wasn’t just good enough…

We don’t have any supposed qualification and right to good, great things. This bitter truth is what will save most of us; I mean, I learnt it the hard way.

Just because something feels good and great doesn’t mean you must have it. Just because you desire it doesn’t mean it’ll be yours. And look, not having things your way doesn’t have to mean you’re miserable. Because you don’t have it doesn’t mean you’re doomed. You don’t always have to play victim of lost rights.

We have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I really do feel like a hypocrite now because I am also dealing with this… But I’m happy I’ve grown to understand where the problem started. I am happy I am free from pressuring myself.

“Too much pleasure is pain…”

Free yourself… Release all those great expectations. Get uncomfortable. If you desperately feel like chasing these entitled wants… You’ll have to get ready to work for them. If you decide to suffer for them, then you must have paid a reasonable price for this need. That’s the birth of possibility.

Instead of drowning in self agony and entitlement to self aggrandizing expectations, start looking for what you’re ready to suffer for. And while you’re suffering, know that you’ll die leaving this earth with nothing. Don’t let society choose your suffering for you, because society won’t be there to carry the cross for you.

A good medicine to letting go of an entitled attitude is simply gratitude. I am not saying that’s the only solution, I am only saying what has worked for me. There are more solutions: hard work, patience, humility e.t.c.

“If you have to say good bye (to the standards), know you’ll be fine after saying goodbye. You won’t be perfect but you’ll be fine” – Morgan Harper Nichols.

Keeping a gratitude journal helped me recognize the trend of entitlement in my life. How? I noticed that the answer I had to why I felt desperate for most things was simply because it will make me feel good and better about myself. That means, I felt entitled to feeling good. How wrong can this get?

Practicing gratitude has helped me realise that we don’t actually have the right to blessings… It’s either a divine gift or you worked for it in some way. We can’t escape hard work and we cannot live our lives always feeling good.

In the moments when what we desire doesn’t come our way, we can be more present and get grateful for all the things we already have or once had. Things like: water, sunshine, health, our ability to live, the way the night and day are being controlled, sight, safety…

Above all, you still have the so precious life running in your graceful body that holds you in hope.

GRATITUDE

A conscious cure to stress, fear and worry.

Gratitude, knowing that what’s present is what’s present.

In Dr. Norman Pearle’s book (How to be your best) chapter four explains how Bill Stidger fought depression with gratitude, and how that bold step of his was able to give an old grandma something to appreciate about the past fifty years of her life… The chain didn’t end there, more persons smiled from one man’s act of gratitude.

Live grateful today… Create value and acknowledgement for the life you now have.

Living courageous is the ability to live even in the midst of fear and insecurities…

It’s finding your own shades of colour.

P. S I am so proud of this photo. And that’s my stuffed octopus, Ashley .

From The Purple Journal

With love, light, grace…