Tag Archives: Help

In her September Thoughts

6ixTh September

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PROCESS


WARNING: Sorry for the in coming raw emotion with the heat.

In an ever new digital fast paced world with early success stories it’s easy to kill yourself. All the way from this point, no thanks to the speed at which success can be shared. No thanks to the boat load of problems globalization has created from trying to solve problems. The mass of information out there makes it all so hard to process. This only proves Mark Manson’s words that solving problems will help create more… Still, thanks to all these emotional and psychological pain and struggles because they sure lead us to who we are meant to be. That’s growth. The not so pretty part is called process.

I had to understand the meaning of process. Process was just a usual science class term but you see, it’s the restlessness and struggles I have felt that helped write the meaning of process on the thick walls of my heart and that definitely had to be painful. hard nail writing on my heart, ouchhhhh!

After thinking about the Buddha, the once confused prince who sat under a tree for over 49 days and came to a realization that “Pain is inevitable (unavoidable)”, I also have sat under all my confusions and for solid 9 seconds came with a mantra that “Everything is necessary”. This include all the ugly things and situations we’ve experienced.

See, Marsai Martin born on 14th of August 2004 (that means she’s just fifteen) is already a producer. She has something great starting in her life. At least she does have a direction or niche now. Yes, after stalking on her, I thought about my life. How old am I? yes I’m older than her and yes I am still as confused as the car that looks like a bus. Maybe a truck.
It was around April that I made a post saying:

“I am tired of reading so many success stories, please give me a book about a failure who failed till the end!”

At that time I just wanted to grab and read on some story that sounded like mine. But I hope I’m not thinking like this anymore.

All I’m trying to say is that, we are here, right now in this hard phase.
I read Aileen’s article and hearing her list my emotions and conditions one by one made me feel so ecstatic. So relieved that I’m not too extra or not taking things too seriously. That I’m not just being dramatic or too ambitious.

All the things you don’t have, all the equipment you can’t avoid, all the places you can’t go, all the opportunities you don’t have… all exist because it’s necessary they don’t exist now. Because they might not be what you need now… Maybe all you need now is to change or sit or sleep or pray or read or stalk or go to Bible school or…
In this world we all have a purpose, and there are principles, attitudes and spirits that are willing to help us become who we were made to be. To find that fulfillment.

The best of artists where made by being able to do something out of the little they were given.

And I ask you just as Aileen asked me in her article(yes I took it personal):
“Does any of these sound familiar? “
Are you constantly comparing yourself to every appealing success protagonists?
Are you lost, confused and obviously frustrated?

Do you want to cry right now or you mildly wish you can be in a comma for a while?
You know you want to do great amazing things but just don’t know where to start.
You are scared of oblivion just like me and the whole idea of being mediocre makes you anxious and sad. It kills you that there is a possibility your a mediocre and not creative enough. You feel like jumping into an ocean because you can’t just find your direction in life. You want to move somewhere, possibly fly but you don’t know how to. You have so many questions to ask. You are angry you can’t afford all the nice things you need to get started on something… The lists go on and on.

I’ve come to a realization after all these emotions hunted me.
You just can’t skip the process.
And everybody have their time. For you to grow your soul needs to heal. The time taken might just depend on how broken your self image is. Maybe.

All these emotions makes up the process. It’s necessary because you don’t just wake up and have life already figured out. More often, it’s through living that you get to learn more about yourself and interests.

The process offers you the opportunity to know that everything is not fine and you could be much more. It’s in the process you learn how to be stronger. It’s in the process you learn how to deal with oppositions.
It’s the process that brings out your success attitude; being bold, having faith, being ready, being brave with your ideas….

My feelings overwhelm me and I can’t wait to get out of this process phase but rather than paying attention to the struggles, I have decided to take note of all the lessons but that doesn’t mean I won’t cry when it gets hard or I won’t complain to myself for a while.

I can testify that I have now found the answers to some of my questions. More are still unanswered but I have to wait for them to unfold.
Sometimes all you have to do is wait for life to unfold but constantly making sure you’re not waving off every opportunity while waiting.

Sometimes it’s about obeying your instincts and taking a chance on the unknown.

Aileen, the lady behind the Lavendaire blog created a course for dealing with these emotions and creating your dream life. I am not working and can’t pay for this class and that’s a pity for me. I’ll have to learn the hard way. I am happy she still left tips on how she grew from this phase. I remember her talking about all the books she read and the leaps of faith she took; And I am going to start off by taking these steps.

If you have this money or a few bucks to spare, make a sacrifice and enroll into this course. It sure looks pretty and feels hopeful.
Though we can’t actually skip the process, this might save you more time and make you ready for the process.
You can check out this amazing article with the link below.
https://lavendaire.lpages.co/create-your-dream-life/

You can also check her instagram and YouTube videos
@Lavendaire

You can also take a chance and read Mark Manson’s Book, The subtle art of not giving a f*ck.
Gratitude for the few answered questions is a great way to enjoy the process…

P. S This is not a sponsored post. Just mere recommendations.

Let’s grow together.

In her September Thoughts

THiRd SeptEmber

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3 September 2019 .

SMILE


I can’t help but think of a smile from a different perspective and this is strictly based on experience.
Smiling is more than just expressing an emotion. It’s more than expressing joy, excitement, happiness and gratitude. When I think of smiling, I see it as a way of telling your story but ending the story with a message. I see it as a window that emits light.

A Smile is a form of energy that can be transferred from one person to another. It’s one that displays the light that lives in a person’s soul. If your soul is not full of light, then your smile cannot have life in it.


Have you ever looked at someone’s smile and just smile along? Have you experienced a contagious smile? I believe the light that shines from our soul holds a message. It can be for negative reasons or positive.
Example, if someone has been in a hopeless situation and grown to have hope, this experience heals their wounds and fill them with light. So if that person smiles at you, your soul is more likely to register and feel of hope.
This is a personal experience: Radhi Devlukia Shetty is a woman I’ve thought about deeply. Just observing her facial expressions helped me understand this. It felt like magic the way her smiles made me smile instantly. I just look at her and smile. When I thought of her, I felt more light. At first it felt too weird to be true. But the invisible world far exceeds the things your mere eyes can see and understand.
This woman’s smile led me towards wishing to have that light lingering in my smile. That hopeful smile. When I see her smile, all I think of is hope for the future and freedom from life’s load.
There are many more messages a smile can tell someone. It could tell you to be patient, to hang on, to be peaceful , to be grateful, to be hardworking, to do more, or even to rest. To concur to something and more…

Did I try to smile like her? Yes I did. I felt my smile was not just bright as hers, I wanted it to make people smile. One night I was resolving an inner conflict I had with myself and after that I realised that my smile and Radhi’s smile didn’t have to look the same. I had my story and she had hers. Our smile could look different but send the same light, the same message; maybe hope or love or fulfillment or healing. All that mattered was that it was real and not forced; that was a moment of peace for me.

I thought about a story from Sheila Walsh’s book, Get off your knees and pray. The story was about a baby born with down syndrome and the pain the parents felt from this challenge. He grew up but not as a normal kid. He couldn’t learn easily, he was made fun of, might never get married or have children. Here are some statements from this chapter I wouldn’t forget in a hurry:
Sheila said,“I wish I could show you a picture of this young man’s smile. There is a gentle grace about him and a deep abiding sense of the presence of God and his angels.”
His mom said,“People have told me they can tell he loves the Lord, his faces shines! …”
This is a life testimony of Eric Kuntz’s smile. You can see that his smile tells a message of God’s grace as it shines. Amazing thought to me.

“He cries when someone else cries (even if he doesn’t know why he is crying)… “


Smile from your heart. Give light to people. It’s an affordable gift you can throw around. You can throw it right at people’s face and they wouldn’t get offended. No one will punch you for throwing this gift! Put a message on your smile. Not just for your selfies.

Be more than a flashlight.

SMiLe.
P.S Tell me, can you relate to this?

In her September Thoughts, Timely Series

SeConD SepTembeR

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2 September 2019
“Why do I have a feeling this September thoughts challenge will turn out to be a September daily questions that didn’t get instant Answers.”


HYPOCRITE ?


Hypocrisy might just be the subject of my racing thought today.
Lately all the preachings I’ve been stumbling into have been talking about being more like Christ. About bringing out love and letting it shine on people.
Brett Harris said doing hard things, that is great works, doesn’t depend on how big or small they are. Sometimes it’s about having the right attitude for the ordinary things (do you know how hard that could get).

For teens and young adults trying to get things done, it’s easy to get frustrated when things doesn’t work out but sometimes we just need to be the first change. Then I looked to myself.
How is your attitude towards the house chore? Does my mom find me positive to be around? Do my siblings feel comfortable around me?
The reality of it is I’m way nicer to strangers than the people around me. This fact fills me with guilt and I’m left to ask, why am I not also that bright light my siblings need in their life? I can’t help but wish I was some pollyanna.
Why is it hard to deal with the people really next to us?
Does your attitude towards strangers really count when your siblings are not really benefiting from that attitude?
Does this make me a hypocrite now or is this normally normal?

P. S Two days after this draft, I saw a tweet like:

Why are the best people always far away…

In her September Thoughts, Timely Series

FRisT SepTemBer

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Welcome to the month of September and this month I’m trying out intentional living. It’s pretty hard to stay conscious of your actions even for just a day. The feeling of being overwhelmed or taken unawares makes this possible. Even at this, for just a fraction of the day we can take our time to acknowledge our thoughts.

September morning thoughts
Over no coffee…

1 September 2019
You pretty much woke up to first September without thinking about it the previous night. You weren’t even conscious of the fact that the next morning was a new month. So, you pretty much rushed your way through church preparations…

At 1:00 AM you were resisting your sleep just so you can put this thought down:
What if I could play the piano so well.
What if I had a grand piano.
What if I wasn’t really scared of learning? Or not so lazy?
What if I was a polyglot already? Without so much of the work.
What if I bought a guitar with my food summit fee? What if I had enough money, and much more, enough confidence to invite the girls I love for a night chat over nice snack. What if I had an apartment for this?
What if I had my room on the roof top.
What if I already got most of the things I wished for.
In the deepest, what if all the people I admire from afar, the people that love me from afar, get to live close to me and realise I am not the angel they thought I was. What if at that close moment they face a reality of broken expectations. I just hope they know from the distance that I am not perfect. If the people around me can find me tiring, what happens to all those that love me from the different time zones we live?
What if I disappoint the people I admire from afar?

The ones that only receive my messages and not my attitude.

Fresh bugs… Mind bugs.

When I thought of why and how to release these thoughts for other people to see, I cringed again.

Why do you want people reading and knowing what you’re thinking? Are you a star? Why do you think people will want to know what you’re facing? Remember you’re boring and pretty weird. Even your mom says you talk about weird things and write in a weird style… I think she used a word worst than weird.


Where do you even put it? You don’t have a great blog? The free one looks so immature and people like high quality stuff; I’m sure you know that.

Just wave this off and go the hell to sleep. That’s all you need.

In that moment the only present answer I had to put myself back to sleep was, because I want to, I just want to.
Is that enough?

Do you ever feel like all there is to you are inadequacies and more of the statement

“It’s not good enough”

It’s not good enough is reality and that’s what makes it good enough.

#beginnings

In her September Thoughts

September Special

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Welcome to September and welcome to the journal.

As a life Amateur things can get messier and foggy. There are many random thoughts that pop up from our contrasting interests. The fact that we are just starting out and are not really that great at anything can be discouraging. The fact that we are trying to find where we belong is a real challenge…

Join us in our September Series as we approach growth and bring to the open our thoughts that comes with each day.

Feel free to send a long text if these thoughts trouble you or you just want your story out of your chest.

The Purple Journal