Tag Archives: Hope

In her September Thoughts

20 Third

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4TH WEEK OF SEPTEMBER
THROUGH OUT THE THIRD WEEK I HAVE:

  1. Been far from the blog and the duty to write here.
  2. Finished reading the book of John.
  3. Been reflecting on the personality of God and need for spirituality (long journey)
  4. Been journaling as we all know. I’ve been having a real schedule for journaling, thanks to the prompts supplied by Lavendaire.
  5. Been practicing conscious gratitude using my gratitude journal.
  6. Been open to notice so much options, lifestyles, ideas and this was not so great in a way but was also great in a way.

“What can I say; change is inevitable…” – The purple journal

PLAIN MIND

23 September 2019
“If you’ve found the things you love, sit back and enjoy the process” – Marie Kondo

To be honest, I feel like the month ran so fast. It feels new writing here again, maybe I would have just continued with the posting while doing the journaling special. But the break also felt right.
I felt a lot of resistance before writing here today. I felt like I had lost the flow.
After now I’ll go back to my journal and observe my previous preparations before I start drafting a blog post.

I mentioned that last week I was engaged in a journaling special. It’s not like it took a lot of my time but I just desired the break. I am still trying to process the results from last week. The fact that they are quite intangible makes it hard to feel and see. This aspect of progress is mostly held by faith, that is why self doubt is a killer. No doubts I still struggle with self doubt but these days I don’t say negative words to myself… I notice the shield I now hold against self doubt and it’s not perfection, it’s not skills or knowledge or awareness, it’s not even growth but it’s hope.

I am amazed by the presence of hope in my life… It’s a feeling I can’t miss. Even in the midst of insecurities, imperfections, ignorance and self doubt I feel it building a wall around my self image and composure. It’s something that I don’t control, I don’t do consciously so it amazes me anytime the feeling arises.

Knowing there is a lot to learn is an overwhelming knowledge itself, but hope and faith works together to keep the mind stable and receptive.
Few months ago, at this time when it feels like I lack direction and my ideas are too disorganized I would have freaked out and gotten angry at myself. This anger transfers so much, that even the slightest shifts off my expectations will cause an up roar in my soul and body. You’ll see me ready to spill out so much negativity but this was bad;The thing is, emotions can be transferred. I look back now and imagine the sort of impact I must have had on my friends. I wonder what kind of energy I was sending off. To admit, it was a rather selfish way to live and express discontent.

Now I sit on this bench an wonder why that reaction is not coming off.
I sit calmly, my composure is okay but deep inside of me I know I have no idea what I am doing. It’s not like I am not worried things aren’t going so great, I am aware, concerned and uncomfortable about it but there is a great absence of stress.

Hope is the reason I haven’t started hitting water bottles and banging the wall. Hope is the reason why my face is not like mashed potatoes now.Hope is the reason I am not playing angry bird right now. Hope is the reason my day is not yet ruined with negativity. Hope is the reason I am typing this, because if I didn’t have hope, I would have settled with the idea that I just don’t have what to upload on the blog today.

I still wonder how this hopeful attitude was born but I love it. I want it to stay and be part of who I am.

GETTING HOPEFUL

I believe having a mindset and knowledge that struggling is inevitable really sets you in the place of hope. It’s a long walk off the victim mentality.

You could only hope (as you work) you’ll grow from the struggle. You could just hope it’ll get better. You could just hope you’ll figure it out along the way.

Hope can be grown by the realisation that discomfort shows the present is not okay and can be changed. If the dream belongs to you it’ll keep coming. . . There are things we truly can’t control, so it’ll still rain when it’s time to rain. Autumn and fall will come around when it’s time so the divine does have a say. There is something called fate whether we believe it or not. And I personally believe all things work for my good because that’s what my Bible tells me. it fills me with so much hope and faith even when the present doesn’t say so. It’s a shower of relieve somewhere inside my beautiful, growing soul.

There are lots of religions and spirituality because it’s a free world. One thing that draws me to the bible is it’s ability to speak of the real human struggles. It’s abiblty to encourage and say out my heart’s troubles. The bible says “In all, there is a time(Season, phase) for everything… Time to sow and time to reap”. Time to be buried into the unknown, time to die off, time to grow new and fresh, time to blossom and time to get the fruits. This just captures the human desire to outrun time but patience is highlighted as a growth factor. So if you really want to grow, learn patience. Pray for it for the sake of your mental and emotional well being. Pray for it so you don’t gain extra pounds bouncing on junk because life is too hard. Pray for it so you don’t frighten the kids and make your friends struggle to be around you.

I said “Plain Mind” because to be honest and plain, I had no idea what I was going to write today. I couldn’t think of anything and I had gone out of the habit of writing daily. I wandered around the house just thinking about how I’ll start. The only option I had was to start by greeting, to start mediocre, to start with a review, to start with what I think nobody wants to hear, to start with the not so great content. Somehow I found myself sending the message of hope. Even though this content is so simple and personal and straight forward, I am honestly proud of it. I am happy I decided to just sit down and go on with the nonsense.

The process you see is something we feel but can’t see the end. In the process everything sum up the the perfection you become. Every junk and blabbing does count; they all sum up to the result.

“In the begin change was intangible and invisible…” – The PurpleJournal.

I leave you with this message and I am happy I took the photo. See you on the better side of tomorrow. That snail up there is my snail, Gary.

In her September Thoughts

7eventh September

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The Stalker

Reaching out to people

Being called a weirdo more than I have sneezed have led to so much destruction to my self image. The important fact here is that I am healing and so are you. It’s a chance that comes with each day.
In this process of healing and finding answers to your persistent questions, communication is key.
In my yesterday’s article, I spoke about the gradual steps we can take to grow in the process phase of living. One of which I’ve been practising lately; communication.

In times of struggles and confusion it is good psychology to ask questions. Instead of chasing all you wish to do and comparing yourself to people you admire, it will be wise to reach out as much as possible and ask questions (there are still nice people in the world)

Two nights ago I was reading Mark Manson’s book just before bed. This part was centered on problem solving and I decided to carry out a small exercise before bed. I opened up a fresh page in my journal and tried to pen down all my disturbing problems, then the magic happened; I couldn’t just find them anymore. I found it silly that they weren’t coming off because I new they existed. They hunted me for crying out loud, I do feel them but I couldn’t just write them down. The ones I listed sounded more like me nagging.
Sillly world.
Have you been here before?

I have to tell you that this weird you, does have a twin. There’s someone out there ready to figure out your problems with you. Someone will fall in love with the real weird you.
That night I realised your problems show themselves when you’re not trying to find them. They pop up while you’re complaining and discussing… not when you’re with a pen trying to stab them right in the eye.

Problems are hot chicks that love to be acknowledged

Communication helps healing. It is an exercise that opens your subconscious and your vulnerabilities. Talking to the right person sure helps you figure out your problems.
It’s more like an interview where every complain you drop is being questioned and just like a mother onion, every layer of your complain is being opened until you get to the core problem.
This thought was born from a conversation I had last night that left me ecstatic.
Sometimes we know what to do but don’t just do them till someone makes us know we have to take it seriously; that’s what my conversation with Elizabeth did for me. This is what the purple journal is about: helping you remember and take seriously all the things you know.

Thanks to Elizabeth’s readiness to listen to someone, most of my problems have been figured out and new commitments have been resolved.
I offer you what Elizabeth offered me last night:
How about you do this, take a break.

I accepted the break and asked her what it’s going to be like. Here are a few of my new commitments I’ll be taking down along side my September thoughts challenge:

  • I’m going to stop constantly stressing and pondering on what to do and start.
  • Take care of myself: That includes a new interest in body care and outfits. I hardly care about my outfit or appearance and for a growing lady, that’s too bad. I’ve been made fun of for appearing so unkempt, therefore it’s high time I grow up and start appearing intentional instead of looking like a chased mother hen. At least I’m sure my mom will notice this change.
  • Learn: Instead of comparing and drooling over someone’s success, I’m going to take my stalking to the next level and really send off direct messages. There’s no harm in trying.
  • Read: I’m about to step up my reading game. Just like what Aileen suggested, I’m going to read broad and far at my own pace.
  • Podcasts: For an intending podcaster like me, it will be nice to learn by listening. I already have a list if podcasts to take seriously and that includes: Age of minority podcast, Lavendaire podcast, Hope and prose podcast… and more by popular successful people and ministers.
  • YouTube videos : My data will perish but those videos will let my creative vision bloom. Just sitting back and watch people do their thing!
  • Plant: I’ll keep trying to build my in house plants
  • Music: I have more foreign music to catch up on. Even though I have no idea what the language is saying it sure sounds pretty to my ears…

Just merely a decision to sit back and relax. To use the available resources I have no matter how inadequate they are; That’s what artists do.

Learning can be tedious to me but by watching and following great people of our interest you never can tell when you’re learning or having fun.

We sure knew all these before now but that’s the point; to remind us and make us take them seriously.
You can never be too late. Take it easy, this is the process zone where we just live and things unfold by being intentional.

I designed a list of these new routines and before the end of today it’ll be hanging on the purple walls of my small room.
I do pray for the grace and strength to just hold on and stay committed to the small hard things.

Elizabeth Adewale is a beautiful young woman. She’s a new age blogger and mobile photographer. And what I love about her the most is that she’s trying to grow and she’s ready to help.
One of my favorite part of our conversation was when she said,
“Because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you can’t help others that are also struggling…”


That’s bold. That’s brave and that’s what I’m moving towards.
You can check her instagram page:
@theelizabethadewale

You can also visit her blog.

here’s another amazing person you can check out on instagram @Oliviamorganwhite

Now go out there and be a bold brave curious not so annoying stalker! (I’m literally screaming) Start by building your community.

P. S This is not a sponsored post Just mere recommendations

feels good…..